i never understood my heart.
it always beat to a different beat that most,
always a bit quicker in tempo,
as if i always feared a part of me
being out in the open for everyone to see.
a part of me that fueled my red blood,
as it pumped from my heart,
to every aspect of my body,
even to parts i was not aware of.
parts of me
that i didn't know i could have,
but spent hours of sleepless nights,
and far too many early mornings
writing into existence,
as beautiful sunrises
of golds and oranges,
of love and misunderstanding,
greeted me with open arms,
as the yellow warmth of the sun engulfed me,
reminding me that i was okay,
that i knew myself more than anyone else.
reminding me that i didn't need reassurance from anyone else,
as long as i felt this was truly me.
i took walks in the beautiful grasses
of the green envy
that found its way into my life.
envy of those whose love
would always be of higher importance than mine.
envy of those who didn't have to prove their love is authentic.
envy that i was unable to control.
as the rain came down,
and washed away my jealously,
with a similar shade of blue
of the tears of sadness
that had managed to crawl out of my colorless void of a soul,
i was cleansed of all the negative parts of society
that happened to come along with the one thing that made me happy.
i felt nearly complete.
until i saw her.
the violet to my heart's rose,
dressed in a trench coat
of none other than a deep purple,
the perfect complement
to the colorless void that i was.
the perfect complement to my loveless self
that society had damned me to.
that was before.
now, i understand my heart,
and all it entails.
i showcase the colors that i used to hide deep within,
the same ones that made me seem colorless when hidden.
i am no longer a void,
and i refuse to let anyone think otherwise,
because i am exasperated
of living in a society of monochrome simplicity,
of contrasting blacks and whites,
when we can glow with our rainbow of harmony.
1) TYSM FOR ALMOST 800 FOLLOWERS I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH XX WE WERE JUST AT 500 XX I APPRECIATE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU XX HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT DAY XX
2) i will be uploading another analysis of one of my poems this weekend, which will probably be about clockwork
3) i don't know if anyone would be interested in this, but i was thinking about having a taglist, where i tag whoever wants to be tagged whenever i upload a new poem so you don't ever miss an upload
i was thinking about having two different ones, one for my poems and one for my analyses, if you're interested, comment down below which one (or both) and i'll add you, if not, that's completely fine xx either way, i hope you have a great rest of your day xx love you sm xx