I could feel my body shaking.
I’m not sure if anyone could see it from the distance between us and the stage,
but I knew that he could,
and that is when I felt his fingers gently lifting my chin to make me look him in the eyes.
His brows scrunched at me and his lips parted slightly,
and I didn’t know the meaning behind his expression until I felt the wet feeling of something rolling down my cheek.
I was crying.
When did I start crying?
I opened my lips,
only to let out a short breath of air,
causing a moisturized sound to exert from the back of my throat,
and I couldn’t speak anymore.
The pressure had become even stronger now.
I tried to say my lines,
but my thoughts stuttered.
I knew that she was watching,
and I didn’t want to be in this room with her anymore.
I snatched my face away from his gentle grasp,
and I caught a glance of his disbelieving eyes before I shuffled to the end of the stage and climbed down.
I covered my face and dashed out of the auditorium as the loud sounds of the doubled doors slammed open with my exit.
I heard many gasps at my sudden action, but I didn’t care.
I couldn’t be in that theatre anymore.
The room had gotten ten times smaller with her in there,
and I felt so many things among the lines of embarrassed and afraid.
Even though no one knew the true meaning of my running away,
it still felt like they did.
The fear of being judged or seen through when I make a mistake.
The fear of looking into the eyes of a few others made my stomach churn,
and the large light above my head didn’t help.
It made me feel light-headed and nervous.
I never understood the meaning behind those large spotlights.
They only amplified my anxiety, my fear.
They only made me more visible than I wanted to be,
and I didn’t like it.
I wished that I could be an exception,
that I could perform in the dark where no one else could see me.
This performance wasn’t as perfect as I had imagined it to be.
Kissing him in practice made me feel so powerful.
It made me feel like stage fright wasn’t one of my worst nightmares.
That it wasn’t this big fear.
I was wrong.
I was blinded by that kiss.
The magic only existed when we were alone.
And whenever we were around others,
they had some form of connection to us whether they knew us or they were simply in the same room watching.
It seemed as if he and I owned the world when we were alone.
When we got in front of others,
we were only a small portion of the things that lies between the lines.
The lines that were easily hidden from my sight.
The lines that I have yet to be exposed to.
The invisible lines that I unknowingly crossed and received a punishment for.
Apparently, something of hers was that beyond those lines.
And I didn’t even know what I was getting myself into when I crossed them.
I ran around the corner just outside of the class to hide.
I pushed my back up against the wall and slid down until I was crouching with my knees hugging my chest,
and my butt sloped against the ground.
I put my head down and cried into my knees.
I had to be silent,
because in all honesty,
I didn’t want to be seen like this.
The sound of footsteps coming to a halt in front of me made me flinch and hesitantly lift my head out of my knees to look up at the tall figure standing above me.
He smiled softly and removed his hands from his pockets and crouched down beside me to slide his hand along my back.
The coldness from the rings around his fingers made me shiver,
and I felt my chest jolt as the hyperventilation from my panic tried to calm itself down.
He pulled me into his embrace and rested his head on my shoulder
There were no words
Simply comforting silence
I like it.
The warmth, the magic, the comfortability returned when it was just him and I here being so close to each other
Could we just run away from the world and have each other
Could he and her not be so connected, could him and I be the only ones that each of us see
Could I love anyone again, could I ever give my heart to another if he happened to leave me
"Could you be mine forever?" I asked, leaning into his chest as he rubbed soothing circles all over my back and shoulders
"Forever," he responded with that mellow soothing tone lingering within his voice, and the magic was there again
We were alone again
And fear, I knew not.