i'm an actress and i have been since i was very little
it seems that i've constructed a persona of the "nice, positive, bubbly girl who's secretly battling dark demons/sadness"
because i've always wanted to be the protagonist of a story, a lead, someone people are drawn to.
but i'm not really one of the broken people. i've just tried to become them.
i'm a fake masquerading as a martyr, and the worst part is that i can't tell that it's fake anymore. my lies must have become so real to me that i believe them.
but i'm not who everyone says i am. i'm a fraud. i hear "oh, she's such an angel to be kind when she's been through so much"
and i can't bear telling them that i was the devil all along, my own twisted mind torturing itself for attention
i only act because everyone seems to like who i become when i'm playing the part, and i don't know how to get out of the show
because i've forgotten who the real me is.
how can you stop pretending when you don't know what's real anymore?