masquerading depression stories

trunklefish hopeful gay girl
Autoplay OFF   •   3 years ago
am i faking for attention?


by trunklefish

i'm an actress and i have been since i was very little

it seems that i've constructed a persona of the "nice, positive, bubbly girl who's secretly battling dark demons/sadness"

because i've always wanted to be the protagonist of a story, a lead, someone people are drawn to.

but i'm not really one of the broken people. i've just tried to become them.

i'm a fake masquerading as a martyr, and the worst part is that i can't tell that it's fake anymore. my lies must have become so real to me that i believe them.

but i'm not who everyone says i am. i'm a fraud. i hear "oh, she's such an angel to be kind when she's been through so much"

and i can't bear telling them that i was the devil all along, my own twisted mind torturing itself for attention

i only act because everyone seems to like who i become when i'm playing the part, and i don't know how to get out of the show

because i've forgotten who the real me is.

how can you stop pretending when you don't know what's real anymore?

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