"Somehow, someway, I got stuck in the middle.
I understand both parties, both his feelings and hers, the emotions that their bodies emit... but what about mine?
The tears that flow from my eyes as one is angered and the other depressed...
My heart that breaks with the fear of each angered word that might be thrown at me, the ache my head receives from crying so much...
The sense of dread as I wait for more, the fear that everything is not actually okay, even though I keep saying that it is.
The questions I think to myself.
Do I regret keeping the secret?
Should I have told him?
The sadness that passes over me when I realize... no, it wasn't my place. I respected her wishes and kept it to myself, allowing her to tell him when she was ready.
Then why do I still feel so guilty? So broken? So... so fucking terrible?
How did I end up here? Stuck in the middle of someone else's mishap?
Too deep in the secret that has finally been let out to simply walk away, a big secret that should've been revealed sooner, in my opinion, but was understandably kept under wraps.
Is he mad? No, he just told me he isn't. Thank God, that he's not, maybe he just needed the time to cool off...
But why do I still feel so fearful?
So under the weather? I haven't eaten all day and have been worried sick about everything. Is my friend okay? Has she told everyone now that her brother knows?
What's going to happen?
I don't know...
I wish I did, but...
All I can do is continue to be stuck in the middle, getting information from both sides until it all comes together as one. Can't know if everything is going okay until they tell me. In the middle I'll stay, because I must, here for them both, stuck between trust, on the way to bust.