today i’m 23, that’s a hell of an age, a lot of thoughts and feelings i don’t want to engage, i’ve been trying to grow up and i’m learning my place, while walking on a path expectations have paved.
i’ve played a few scenarios out in my head, of where i want to be vs goals i have met, i beat myself up over a life i haven’t led, then look back on the year and i start to reflect.
i told myself it would be different, but i’m just running laps, the same damn road, nobody gave me a map, i woke up at the starting line under attack, so when i heard the word GO there was no looking back.
i just ran and i ran, to little avail, the voices from the trees led my plans to derail, i accomplished nothing, it left my confidence frail, the voices let me think that i was destined to fail.
i try to tell myself it will be okay-ish, as i walk on forward, into a horizontal abyss, i make my way through a place where nothingness is, until i come across a cake, time to make my wish.
one candle, two candle, three candle, four, i don’t think i can handle blowing out any more, all i wish for is company, my heart is growing sore, year after year i feel it more and more.
people come and go, but nobody stays, silhouettes of your face fade away in a haze, now my path seems lonely, tinged with greys, nobody seems to walk with me through this maze.
it leaves me thinking that i can not be loved, by family, friends, or that special one, not a single person around to tell me i’m wrong, so alone and scared i keep on walking on.
day in, day out it’s all one blurred mess, when i hear the voices, i shake and i sweat, they push me to my knees and i’ve got to confess, these expectations crush my shoulders way beyond mend.
i need a house but this road is so empty, so barren, i need a better job, that progresses my passion, and i need to work on myself but that will never happen, maybe this year i’ll face my demons and learn to attack them,
the road finally led me to where a spotlight was shun, today is your day, so i hope you have fun, i looked around and realised i’m back where i begun, then heard a voice from the trees say “Happy Birthday, now run”.