The first night as Supreme Leader was the hardest. After Snoke’s death, the Force changed and powers started to shine brighter in every corner of the galaxy, at first just a glimpse.
Light, Dark, but others too, other unusual yet frightening energies coming to meet the new Order.
It was so noisy. Ben could feel them too. His headache was insufferable and his teeth hurt from so much jaw clenching.
The sweat was dripping now from his long nose and the tips of his black hair. Dripping, never stopping. He knew that the Force was punishing him.
He could hear everything but nothing in the same time. He could feel it all in his brain and the pressure was weighting so hard on his shoulders, so new and persistent.
He was beyond angry. Everything inside his being wanted to explode and destroy, but he could not move. ‘’What kind of trance is this?’’ he screamed angrily in his mind.
But the Force did not respond and it continued to torture him. He could not move. Why? He felt trapped, like never before in his life.
It was something to do with…no! He would not think her name. Never again.
Voices grew louder. Oh…but a new Supreme Leader? Such a young Supreme Leader. A new order.
What would this bring us? Ben managed to close his eyes in frustration, feeling his salty sweat covering his lips and chin. Such a torn Supreme Leader.
‘’I’m not torn! I know what I must do!’’ he screamed again but his own voice perished between the other ones. He could not hear himself think in this mess. His power was gone.
Maybe the Force abandoned him after the confrontation with Luke Skywalker? Was it possible? He could not feel anything else. Not even the Light. Not Dark either.
‘’Let me out of here!’’ he yelled again, trapped in his own mind. His body started to tremble and to shake, rivers of cold sweat flowing on his back.
Maybe someone wanted to kill him. Who would dare? This was a cheap trick, nothing more. But then the pressure rose. This was not pressure, it was power.
This power was crushing him, weakening him. Meditation was out of question. Trying to meditate now meant that he had to walk through an ice storm.
Ice storm winds, cold and frozen just like the sweat on his back.
‘’You are so loud.’’
A voice echoed from somewhere. He tried to look for it, he tried to calm down but the pain was unbearable. But he heard it.
Not like his inner self voice, but like a haunting song, coming from afar.
Ben opened his eyes. He felt his scar pulsing with pain, feeling icy thorns hurting his face, like a blistering cold. It was a storm.
A woman’s voice. Like bells and honey, the single fire in all that cold. He could move now, stepping through the storm. Not Rey’s voice. Ah, her name again.
Curse her name, coming in this times like this!
Something in his thoughts made this power wilder. And angrier. He could spot a woman silhouette through the snow and tried to walk towards it.
Starting to figure out the shape of it, he approached it. His steps grew faster. And faster. Running now. He could feel her. Another entity, just like him, in the middle of this blizzard.
A source of warmth. ‘’Release me from this!’’ he stretched his hand, calling for the power to bring this being closer.
But it never worked. Before he could grab her garments, an explosion of power threw him back to the ground, so far from her. This was not raw power, like his.
It felt like waves of fire crushed his spirit and his body, pinning him to the ground. He tried to look at her, but the wind was blazing hot now.
The smell of burnt earth filled his nose and tears evaporated from his eyes right before he could fall. He never felt such power before. What kind of Force was this?
He managed to gather all his strength and will so he could see her face. Circled by fire waves in a sudden desert, stood a young woman with long dark hair and white skin.