The LAMEST Supervillains Of All-Time

tbanarchyI am a snarky freelance writer.
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago

The LAMEST Supervillains Of All-Time

by tbanarchy

What I think constitutes a "lame" supervillain . . .

One thing that can turn me off to a movie or show or whatever quicker than anything is a lame supervillain. And what do I think constitutes a "lame" supervillain? Just keep reading & you'll see!


The supposed backstory of how Lex Luthor came to "hate" Superman is that he blamed Supes for his . . . baldness. So Lex is an "evil" supergenius who CAN'T come up with, say, Rogaine? Just saying!


Voldemort, the archenemy of Harry Potter, is SO "evil" one CAN'T even mention his name. But, unlike OTHER villains who try to conquer the world, he tries to take over a school . . . and FAILS.


I can't normally stand musicals to begin with but the MAIN reason I've NEVER liked The Wizard Of Oz is how Dorothy "defeats" The Wicked Witch by throwing water on her. WATER!!!! Lame! Lame! LAME!


When I first saw this on Robot Chicken I thought it was a joke. However, as it turns out, there was a "supervillain" named Mr. Banjo. Because, you know, Mr. Oboe would have sounded WAY too sillyl


While Batman had The Joker, Superman had . . . a guy who "played" with toys. Even though the Yo-Yo was initially created to be used as a weapon, it still DOESN'T make Toyman a less LAMER villain.


Again, while Batman had Two-Face, Superman had an imp-like "enemy" who could be "defeated" by making him say his name backwards. You'd think the Supes writers could come up with BETTER villains!


Captain Boomerang, who's the archenemy of The Flash, commits crimes using his-you guessed it!-boomerangs. What, no Captain Frisbee? At least Superman is not the ONLY superhero with lame villains!


Riddle me THIS: What type of lame "supervillain" deliberately leaves CLUES at his crime scenes for the world's SMARTEST superhero-i.e. Batman-to solve? And THEN he gets "shocked" by his capture?


Hey, I got an idea, to play one of the BADDEST supervillains in comic book history, let's cast the skinny smartass kid from That 70s Show with the Prince Valiant hair! What, Fez wasn't available?


Instead of being badass like Darth Vader, his grandson Kylo is little more than a whiny, temper-tantrum-throwing Emo-type who gets "defeated" by an "untrained" girl who just discovered The Force.


Despite having a (pardon the pun!) kick ass bad guy name, The Motherfucker from Kick Ass is STILL a lame supervillain because he STILL looks like something right out of Liberace's nightmares!


Hey, I got an idea, let's take one of the MOST beloved superheroes of all-time & turn him into a NAZI even though he used to fight AGAINST Nazis! And let's do it to make an "anti-Trump" message!


Speaking of Trump, along with making Captain America a NAZI, Marvel also made MODOK, an already LAME supervillain, LAMER by making him a caricature of LAME Trump. Did I mention that was LAME?


Remember how cool Ben Kingsley looked-and sounded-as The Mandarin in Iron Man 3? And then later it was revealed he was just some drug-crazed actor "hired" by the REAL Mandarin? How utterly LAME!


Although Shredder is one of my favorite supervillains from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Krang NOT so much! Krang is an alien head (or is it brain?) inside a robotic body. But then, this IS TMNT!


So the "heroes" of The Walking Dead aren't afraid of flesh-eating zombies but ARE afraid of a loudmouth with a baseball bat named Lucille which is what B.B. King called his guitar. Makes sense!


Music Meister was first "introduced" in the campy Batman: Brave & The Bold cartoon a few years ago. Basically, he can "control" others through song. And you thought showtunes couldn't suck WORSE!


I found "supervillain" Toiletnator during a Google search. He's on some lame kid's show on Cartoon Network I've never seen before. Anyway, Toiletnator is SO lame he's shitty! (Ba-da-boom!)

And my choice for lamest superhero: CODPIECE

Yes, Codpiece is an ACTUAL "superhero" who was obviously SO lame he only lasted ONE issue when he had his, uh-hum, weapon dissolved by transsexual supervillain Coagula. (And, no, I'm NOT joking!)

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5 months agoReply
@tbanarchy ay that's fair man. and I totally agree that Trejo would've been kickass as Negan.

tbanarchyGifted WriterI am a snarky freelance writer.
5 months agoReply
@captainzvesda Thanks for the reply. As for my opinion on Negan, I was referring to the character on the TV show. I haven't read the books so he might indeed be "less lame" in those than he is the TV show. Frankly, I think they should have cast that guy from those Machete flicks Danny Trejo as Negan. Not to say that that Jeffrey Dean Morgan is "bad" in the role, but Trejo is SO scary that he could recite the alphabet and make people crap their shorts!

5 months agoReply
I agree with all of those with the exception of Negan. He's not just a loudmouth, he's a leader, and he takes action. He'd do anything because he doesn't feel anything. (From issue 156: "That's my strength. That's why I'm alive. You tell me I have to crush a field of babies to keep breathing? Sure. You say people who rely on me aren't going to live unless I turn someone's head into a bowl of gravy? I'm there. I don't feel bad about it. I don't think about it. It just is what it is. It's survival. But like I said... I'm broken. That's not living. I can't feel things. No matter how hard I try. Not after what I lost. I'm dead to this world.") So, in my opinion, he's not only not lame, he's also a cool character with a sad backstory. Also, he named Lucille after his dead wife.

tbanarchyGifted WriterI am a snarky freelance writer.
a year agoReply
@bernardtwindwil Ironically, "celibacy" is what led to Codpiece becoming a "superhero" in the first place (that and he thought he had a small "package"). Though I guess there are WORSE reasons to become a "hero"!

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller,
a year agoReply
@tbanarchy There is much to be said about celibacy. And all that is said is that it sucks.

tbanarchyGifted WriterI am a snarky freelance writer.
a year agoReply
@bernardtwindwil It also helps if you DON'T have much of a sex life!

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller,
a year agoReply
That is funny. I feel that you did exhaustive research and came​ yo commendable conclusions.

lentisSilver CommaIf there's food, there's me
a year agoReply
totally agree with Kylo Ren. Although I think Voldemort is pretty powerful, he just gets weaker as horocruxes are destroyed. He would have destroyed the school if Harry didn't have unfair advantages