The LAMEST Supervillains Of All-Time
The LAMEST Supervillains Of All-Time supervillains stories
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tbanarchy
tbanarchyI am a snarky published author.
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago

The LAMEST Supervillains Of All-Time

by tbanarchy

What I think constitutes a "lame" supervillain . . .

One thing that can turn me off to a movie or show or whatever quicker than anything is a lame supervillain. And what do I think constitutes a "lame" supervillain? Just keep reading & you'll see!

LEX LUTHOR

The supposed backstory of how Lex Luthor came to "hate" Superman is that he blamed Supes for his . . . baldness. So Lex is an "evil" supergenius who CAN'T come up with, say, Rogaine? Just saying!

VOLDEMORT

Voldemort, the archenemy of Harry Potter, is SO "evil" one CAN'T even mention his name. But, unlike OTHER villains who try to conquer the world, he tries to take over a school . . . and FAILS.

THE WICKED WITCH

I can't normally stand musicals to begin with but the MAIN reason I've NEVER liked The Wizard Of Oz is how Dorothy "defeats" The Wicked Witch by throwing water on her. WATER!!!! Lame! Lame! LAME!

MR. BANJO

When I first saw this on Robot Chicken I thought it was a joke. However, as it turns out, there was a "supervillain" named Mr. Banjo. Because, you know, Mr. Oboe would have sounded WAY too sillyl

TOYMAN

While Batman had The Joker, Superman had . . . a guy who "played" with toys. Even though the Yo-Yo was initially created to be used as a weapon, it still DOESN'T make Toyman a less LAMER villain.

MITZELPLIK

Again, while Batman had Two-Face, Superman had an imp-like "enemy" who could be "defeated" by making him say his name backwards. You'd think the Supes writers could come up with BETTER villains!

CAPTAIN BOOMERANG

Captain Boomerang, who's the archenemy of The Flash, commits crimes using his-you guessed it!-boomerangs. What, no Captain Frisbee? At least Superman is not the ONLY superhero with lame villains!

THE RIDDLER

Riddle me THIS: What type of lame "supervillain" deliberately leaves CLUES at his crime scenes for the world's SMARTEST superhero-i.e. Batman-to solve? And THEN he gets "shocked" by his capture?

TOPHER GRACE AS VENOM IN SPIDER MAN 3

Hey, I got an idea, to play one of the BADDEST supervillains in comic book history, let's cast the skinny smartass kid from That 70s Show with the Prince Valiant hair! What, Fez wasn't available?

KYLO REN

Instead of being badass like Darth Vader, his grandson Kylo is little more than a whiny, temper-tantrum-throwing Emo-type who gets "defeated" by an "untrained" girl who just discovered The Force.

THE MOTHERFUCKER

Despite having a (pardon the pun!) kick ass bad guy name, The Motherfucker from Kick Ass is STILL a lame supervillain because he STILL looks like something right out of Liberace's nightmares!

"NAZI" CAPTAIN AMERICA

Hey, I got an idea, let's take one of the MOST beloved superheroes of all-time & turn him into a NAZI even though he used to fight AGAINST Nazis! And let's do it to make an "anti-Trump" message!

DONALD TRUMP AS M.O.D.O.K.

Speaking of Trump, along with making Captain America a NAZI, Marvel also made MODOK, an already LAME supervillain, LAMER by making him a caricature of LAME Trump. Did I mention that was LAME?

THE MANDARIN FROM IRON MAN 3

Remember how cool Ben Kingsley looked-and sounded-as The Mandarin in Iron Man 3? And then later it was revealed he was just some drug-crazed actor "hired" by the REAL Mandarin? How utterly LAME!

KRANG (OR THE KRANG)

Although Shredder is one of my favorite supervillains from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Krang NOT so much! Krang is an alien head (or is it brain?) inside a robotic body. But then, this IS TMNT!

NEGAN FROM THE WALKING DEAD

So the "heroes" of The Walking Dead aren't afraid of flesh-eating zombies but ARE afraid of a loudmouth with a baseball bat named Lucille which is what B.B. King called his guitar. Makes sense!

MUSIC MEISTER

Music Meister was first "introduced" in the campy Batman: Brave & The Bold cartoon a few years ago. Basically, he can "control" others through song. And you thought showtunes couldn't suck WORSE!

TOILETNATOR

I found "supervillain" Toiletnator during a Google search. He's on some lame kid's show on Cartoon Network I've never seen before. Anyway, Toiletnator is SO lame he's shitty! (Ba-da-boom!)

And my choice for lamest superhero: CODPIECE

Yes, Codpiece is an ACTUAL "superhero" who was obviously SO lame he only lasted ONE issue when he had his, uh-hum, weapon dissolved by transsexual supervillain Coagula. (And, no, I'm NOT joking!)

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