Some Of The "Cheesiest" Action Films Of The 80s (& Beyond!)
Some Of The "Cheesiest" Action Films Of The 80s (& Beyond!) cheese stories
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tbanarchy
tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   6 months ago
by tbanarchy I grew up watching 80s actions films. (Which, of course, explains why I'm such a well-adjusted person today!)

Some Of The "Cheesiest" Action Films Of The 80s (& Beyond!)

by tbanarchy

I grew up watching 80s action films. Those and what I call "teen titty" films like Porky's and Hardbodies. (Which, of course, explains why I'm such a well-adjusted person today!)

When I watch these films today, I'll admit how many-or most-of them were a little-or a lot-cheesy with their one-liners and jacked-up "heroes" who rarely EVER got shot no matter how many bullets were shot at them!

Since today's "story challenge" on Commaful is cheese, I decided to list some of the more cheesier ones.

Enjoy!

COMMANDO

Besides The Terminator, this is one of Arnold "I'll Be Back" Schwarzenegger's most famous-and cheesiest!-action flicks of the 80s. (It co-starred the daughter of Chong from Cheech & Chong, if THAT should tell you something!)

COBRA

Sylvester Stallone plays a rogue cop who's like a cheesier Dirty Harry who says cheesy shit like "This is where the law stops and I start!" Yeah, I know. CHEESY!

ROAD HOUSE

The star of chick flick Dirty Dancing beats the crap out of dudes with the help of his mullet and Sam Elliott wears a man bun and became a Family Guy punchline. Now THAT'S cheesy! (R.I.P., Patrick!)

HARD TO KILL

Steven Seagal is not-so-arguably the ponytailed Putin-lovin' king of cheesy action flicks. I picked this one because of THIS line: "I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the blood bank!" CHEESY!

DOUBLE TEAM

While this film is not an 80s film, it stars 80s action star Jean Claude Van Damme in the film that pretty much killed off what was left of his film career. (It co-stars Dennis Rodman. Yes, THAT Dennis Rodman!)

ACTION JACKSON

I only recently watched this movie starring Carl Weathers (of Rocky fame) and it's SO cheesy it makes some of the other flicks on this list look like Casablanca (which i've also never seen, BTW).

RED SONJA

I tried to think of one chick action flick-you know, to try to placate the Twitter mob!-and I came up with this cheese-fest starring Brigitte Nielsen (who was also in Cobra, BTW!). This flick is also getting rebooted (you know, to placate the Twitter mob!).

TANGO & CASH

A staple of the 80s cheesy action genre is the cop "buddy" film. And Tango & Cash starring Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell is one of the cheesiest.

RED HEAT

Red Heat is another "buddy cop" 80s flick starred Ah-nold and Jim Belushi-because, you know, why the hell NOT!-and is arguably even cheesier than Tango & Cash (you know, because it stars Jim Belushi!).

THE DEAD POOL

The Dead Pool was the final Dirty Harry movie starring Clint Eastwood where DH keeps saying, "You're shit outta luck!" Which, for some reason, never caught on like, "Go ahead. Make my day!" Go figure!

HELLBOUND

This is another non-80s action flick starring 80s karate action icon Chuck Norris. In this film, Chuck plays a cop-again!-who battles a demon or something. This is NOT one of Chuck's most famous films (for, I think, obvious cheesy reasons!).

THE ROAD WARRIOR

While this film is considered a "classic" action flick starring Mel Gibson (years BEFORE he became batshit crazy!), it still has got a cheesy feel to it, don't you agree?

Of course, if any of these films were released today they would likely be accused by-who else!-the Twitter mob of promoting so-called "toxic masculinity" or whatever.

To which I say quoting Ah-nold himself (and is what I always say to the Twitter mob!):

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