My Thoughts On "Female" Thor
My Thoughts On "Female" Thor throne stories
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tbanarchy
tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   6 months ago
Hollywoke strikes AGAIN!

My Thoughts On "Female" Thor

by tbanarchy

I, of course, posted before about how Hollywoke has turned James Bond into a black, uh, I mean African-American chick.

At this year's Comic-Con, Marvel Studios "proudly" announced their "new" Thor. Care to guess who it was? That's right!

NATALIE PORTMAN!

And, of course, here was MY "reaction" to THAT "news":

Apparently in the next Thor movie titled-and, no, I'm NOT making this up!-LOVE & THUNDER Natalie Portman-who played Thor's love-interest in the other films-will become the "new" Thor after male Thor fucks up for some reason.

Of course, they already had a "female" Thor in the comics, which, BTW, hardly anyone bought because apparently no one bought the idea of a "petite" woman beating the shit out of bad guys 10 times her size!

That plus the fact that comic book chick Thor would shout "feminist" platitudes while beating the shit out of bad guys 10 times her size (since that's JUST what comic book readers WANT to read!)!

Again, MY "reaction" to ALL of this . . .

Just like with the chick Thor comics, who in the "woke" hell is going to buy Natalie Portman being able to beat the shit out of bad guys 10 times her size (and carry that big-ass hammer to boot!)?

I mean, I've only seen one movie where Natalie Portman played a warrior-type, which was the flick Your Highness and THAT was a comedy starring James Franco (yes, THAT guy!)!

BTW, Your Highness was one of the MANY films Natalie has shown her sweet ass in (which something tells me she WON'T be doing as the chick Thor!)!

Ironically, in the first two Thor films, there IS a lady warrior named Lady Sif who was played by actress Jaimie Alexander.

Wouldn't it make MORE sense story-wise to have HER become the "new" Thor because, unlike Natalie Portman's character, she's an ACTUAL warrior?

Just saying!

Oh yeah, the character Valkyrie-who's the "new" leader of Thor's world-is a lesbian who will be finding her "queen" in this new Thor flick.

Of course, I think everyone knows by now my, uh-hum, feelings towards LESBIAN superheroes (and, if you don't, then you haven't been reading enough of my stuff!)!

Oh yeah, besides chick Thor AND lesbian Valkyrie, Marvel Studios head Kevin "Woke" Feige has also "proudly" announced there's going to be a transgendered superhero AND a deaf superhero in future Marvel films.

Boy, Hollywoke really DOES treat these people like they're circus freaks, DON'T they?

"Step right up, folks! Come on inside to see the deaf trans lesbian female superhero! You haven't seen anything like it!"

There again, my "reaction" . . .

And, right on cue, the "woke" media has already come out and said how SEXIST it is to "criticize" this "new" Thor; like, for instance, one "woke" site even saying it was SEXIST to even call the "new" Thor FEMALE.

That's why I've been calling her CHICK Thor! (Because, you know, I'm ALL about "pleasing" the "wokesters"!)

The funny thing about all of this is that the Marvel superhero films have been able to make BILLIONS of dollars in part because they've managed, for the most part, to keep all this "woke" PC BS out of their films.

Captain "Woke" Marvel NOT withstanding!

Now, as that Kevin Feige had vowed he'd do, Marvel is going the Star Wars/James Bond-and let's NOT forget that all-chick Ghostbusters!-"woke" route full steam ahead!

Once again, my "reaction" . . .

All of this is why I predict the box office revenue for Marvel films will start tanking the SAME way that sales of "woke" Marvel comics have been reportedly tanking the past few years.

Box office revenue in 2019 has reportedly tanked by over 10%, although that Avengers: Endgame flick has gone on to become one of the HIGHEST grossing films of all-time.

Again, something tells me that WON'T be happening with the new slate of "woke" Marvel superhero flicks like-of course!-lady female chick Thor!

Again, just saying!

I mean, which would you rather PAY to go see: another flick with Captain America, Iron Man and MALE Thor . . .

Or watching Natalie Portman pretend to beat up guys 10 times her size while spouting "feminist" platitudes?

Well, maybe-just maybe!-if Natalie Portman was TOPLESS while spouting said "feminist" platitudes, amirite, fellas!

Oh, BTW, Marvel, if you're looking to cast someone as Valkyrie's "queen" for the next Thor flick, might I suggest the luscious Megan Fox?

I mean, she's already shown she has NO qualms aboug doing "girl/girl" stuff on film!

There again, just saying!

And, just for the non-"woke" hell of it, here's actress Jaimie Alexander sans Lady Sif outfit!

"Love & Thunder" indeed!

And, once again, for anyone who'd call me SEXIST for posting this, I'd ask the ladies which Thor THEY would want to see?

I'll wait!

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