My Favorite "Food" Story
My Favorite "Food" Story eating stories

tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago

My Favorite "Food" Story

by tbanarchy

Before I begin telling my story, let me reiterate that if you are an easily offended person then you need to STOP READING THIS STORY NOW!

You've been WARNED!

When I was in junior high during my summer break I was planning on taking a trip down to Louisiana where my mother was living after my parents had split up.

At the time, my sister and her then-husband were staying with my father and me. One day I was talking to my then-brother-in-law about my planned trip to Louisiana to see my mom.

My brother-in-law then grinned at me and asked (and here's where the "offensive" part kicks in!): "Are you gonna to eat you some Cajun snatch?"

Not knowing at the time what the word "snatch" was slang for (we didn't have the Internet back then so there was no Urban Dictionary to look this stuff up), I responded by saying something to the effect of, "Oh, I've already eaten that."

For the record, I thought "Cajun snatch" was some sort of Louisiana delicacy and, having already been to Louisiana, I just assumed I'd already eaten it since, let's face it, Louisiana does have some, shall we say, unique foods.

Boiled Peanuts, anyone?

Anyway, my brother-in-law, not surprisingly, began laughing his ass off at what I said to him and he called my sister into the room and told HER what I had said. She, in turn, started laughing HER ass off at what humorous thing I had just said.

Flustered at the both of them laughing at me, I asked either one of them just what in the hell IS a "snatch". My sister then informed me just what exactly a "snatch" was. (I guess one could technically call it a "food" depending on how you look at it, but I digress!)

As a result, my brother-in-law came up with this witty little ditty that went something like: "Tony ate some Cajun snatch, Cajun snatch! Cajun snatch! Tony ate some Cajun snatch so early in the morning!"

As Daffy Duck would say, "Ha ha. Very funny! It is to laugh!"

I actually had a similar incident happen to me back when I was in fifth grade when I did a report on Ted Nugent and I listed in the report some of his hit songs, including his classic "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang".

And, just like with snatch, I didn't know what "poontang" was either. So that was probably why some of the kids in class began snickering when I read the report OUT LOUD in class and I said "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang".

In hindsight, I'm surprised the teacher DIDN'T take me down to the principal's office to have my ass whipped. Though I did get my ass whipped by the principal later on that year when I brought some nudie pics to school I had cut out from one of my dad's Hustler magazines.

Yeah, I admit, I was a pervy little bastard even back then even if I didn't know what "snatch" and "poontang" meant!

And, once again, if ANYONE was "offended" by this piece, all I got to say is I warned your ass, didn't I? DIDN'T I?

Not only that, but I bet you thought when I said I was going to tell my favorite "food" story I was talking about some gal who was eating a banana and/or an ice cream cone in a sexy way, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?

Man, talk about being pervy!

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