Most "Offensive" Halloween Costumes Of 2019?
Most "Offensive" Halloween Costumes Of 2019? halloween stories

tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
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Happy effing Halloween!

Most "Offensive" Halloween Costumes Of 2019?

by tbanarchy

Every year for the past few years someone comes out with a "list" of what is considered to be "offensive" costumes for Halloween.

This year is NO exception as I found a list of these "offensive" Halloween costumes on the Good Housekeeping site titled "15 Offensive Halloween Costumes That Shouldn't Exist". (Google it!)

The list, of course, included the usual "offensive" Halloween costumes like, for instance, those involving so-called "cultural appropriation" like Indian costumes and such.

As is usualy the case with these type of "woke" lists, I thought this one was rather hilarious.

For instance, the very first "offensive" costume listed is a Holocaust victim. Now I have never-NOT ONE TIME-ever seen anyone wear or heard anyone talk about wearing a Holocaust victim costume for Halloween. (Ditto a slave costume!)

Another "offensive" costume the article has listed is "zombie versions of recently deceased celebrities". First off, how DOES one "offend" a dead celebrity since . . . well, YOU know?

But, according to whoever wrote this piece, it's perfectly OK to "offend" a celebrity who has been pushing up daisies for a while! So Fat Elvis, here we come! Which,, of course, leads us to the article's NEXT "offensive" costume, which is:

An eating disorder. Apparently somebody was selling this costume called "Anna Rexia". (Get it?) Of course, you could always say you're going as a zombie of a long deceased celeb since that's apparently OK according to the writers of this article.

Next up on GH's "offensive" Halloween costume list is "animal cruelty" and shows a costume called "Lion Killer Dentist Halloween Costume" complete with decapitated lion's head. (Does the "lion killer dentist" get royalties for this costume?)

Next on the list we have O.J. Simpson and his wife Nicole Brown. But I guess it's OK to go as Bill Cosby carrying a drink in one hand and a bottle of pills in the other. (And I don't have to explain THAT costume to you, do I?) And that brings us to the next "offensive" costume, which is:

Sexual harassment. In the article, they talk about how "insensitive" it is to go as, say, a flasher in the #MeToo era. I would think it would NOT be a good idea to go as a flasher during a time when kids are walking the streets.

"Hey, kids, here's some nuts to go with that candy!"

While we're at it, it's probably also NOT a very good idea to drive around in a windowless van in your neighborhood on Halloween night offering to give kids candy.

"Hey, little girl, I've got a Ding Dong in the back of my van you can have!"

Oh, man, I think I "offended" myself with THAT one!

But, as always, I believe I have come up with a couple of ways to get around the Halloween PC police this year.

For instance, you can dress up in "brownface" and, when the Twitter "woke" mob comes after you, you can just say you were going as Justin "Woke" Trudeau!

Likewise, you can probably get away with dressing up as a Native-American this year by just telling the Twitter "woke" mob-who is usually the ones who get the MOST "offended" by these costumes-that you're going as Elizabeth Warren!

And, if you REALLY wish to avoid the constant ire of the "woke" mob on Twatter, you could dress up as a member of Antifa complete with mask, "anti-Nazi" armband AND a milkshake. (Cement NOT included!)

Or, better yet, a SEXY female Antifa member! (She can throw her "milkshakes" at me ANY time!)

And, to those who put out dumb articles like this and/or who get "triggered" by damn Halloween costumes, it's just ONE day out of the fucking year. Get over it!

And, BTW, if ANY hot chicks out there would like to dress up as Elvira for Halloween this year-pumpkins included!-then go right ahead and do so. Trust me, I won't get "offended"!

And, of course, dressing up as Elvira for this-or any other-Halloween would also likely "trigger" the "woke" Halloween PC police (with or without her pumpkins!)!

But it probably goes without saying if you REALLY want to "trigger" said Halloween PC police all you have to do is dress up as THIS guy!

Happy "Offensive" Halloween, you "insensitive" pervs!

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