I'd like to wish a Happy Father's Day . . .
. . . to all you mothers out there!
Seriously, I'm not a father myself. (I know, shocking, right?)
Of course, in order to become an actual father, you have to have sex with someone OTHER than yourself.
So, again, Happy Father's Day! Relax. Smoke some grass. Tap your wife's-or girlfriend's-ass. Do whatever you feel like. It's YOUR day!