Happy 4th Of July!
Happy 4th Of July! fourth of july stories
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tbanarchy
tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   5 months ago

Happy 4th Of July!

by tbanarchy

So it's the 4th of July.

To be honest, I've never been much for the 4th of July.

It's not because I'm a "commie" or anything like that.

One reason I think I'm not much into the 4th is because my neighborhood sounds like a fucking war zone with all the damn fireworks going off.

And the smell that hits you when you first open your front door the next day!

And then I have to pick up the used fireworks the neighbors "accidentally" shot into the front yard.

This year I also had the luxury of seeing the PCers getting "triggered" on-where else!-Twitter about THIS guy's 4th of July "military" parade.

They say one reason they "object" to said parade is because it's reportedly costing over $2 million.

Which is about the SAME amount the government pays to "study" the sex habits of the South American swamp rat!

Hey, I got the PERFECT idea: If you don't want to watch a "military" parade, how about you just DON'T watch it?

BTW, they can also do THIS to everything ELSE the PCers get "triggered" about (which is pretty much EVERYTHING). Just a suggestion!

So, anyway, have a happy 4th of July! Pop a lot of firecrackers and eat a lot of hamburgers.

And DON'T forget the hot dogs. Never forget the hot dogs!

Me, I'll probably spend my time watching women shoving big weiners into their mouths.

Hey, I'm talking about watching hot dog eating competitions, you pervs!

And, yeah, I'll be watching some porn too! ("Patriotic" porn, of course!)

Now THAT'S what I call raising the flag to full staff!

Anyway, I couldn't find a pic of Elvira with a flag. So here's a pic of "adult" film star Lisa Ann (as Sarah Palin!) instead!

Enjoy, you "patriotic" pervs!

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