The guy who puts makeup on Katy Perry's boobies (even though Katy now looks like the kid from those Home Alone flicks!).
The chief video inspector for Pornhub.
A personal lingerie shopper for a supermodel.
Anything having to do with monkeys. (Don't ask!)
Whoever gets to watch Lady Gaga undress backstage at her concerts.
James Bond (And, no, I don't mean THIS James Bond!)
Any "job" involving Jennifer Love Hewitt's hand, if you know what I mean!
And I, of course, think you DO!
A Catholic priest since I hear they get ALL the action! (Hey, I'm talking about nuns, you sickos!)
I mean, who do you think I am? Fired Disney director James Gunn? #IWentThere
And, of course, Elvira's cleavage checker.
You knew that one was COMING, didn't you, you pervs!
And, oh yeah, speaking of COMING, I'd like to make a shit-ton of money writing lady smut like that 50 Shades Of Grey lady!
But I bet you knew that one already, DIDN'T you?