A Few Of My "Dream Jobs"
A Few Of My "Dream Jobs" dream-job stories
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tbanarchy
tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
Hand and/or blow?

A Few Of My "Dream Jobs"

by tbanarchy

The guy who puts makeup on Katy Perry's boobies (even though Katy now looks like the kid from those Home Alone flicks!).

The chief video inspector for Pornhub.

A personal lingerie shopper for a supermodel.

Anything having to do with monkeys. (Don't ask!)

Whoever gets to watch Lady Gaga undress backstage at her concerts.

James Bond (And, no, I don't mean THIS James Bond!)

Any "job" involving Jennifer Love Hewitt's hand, if you know what I mean!

And I, of course, think you DO!

A Catholic priest since I hear they get ALL the action! (Hey, I'm talking about nuns, you sickos!)

I mean, who do you think I am? Fired Disney director James Gunn? #IWentThere

And, of course, Elvira's cleavage checker.

You knew that one was COMING, didn't you, you pervs!

And, oh yeah, speaking of COMING, I'd like to make a shit-ton of money writing lady smut like that 50 Shades Of Grey lady!

But I bet you knew that one already, DIDN'T you?

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