Hard to change
Hard to change stories
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tatcat
tatcatSilently felt
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
It's hard.

Hard to change

–confessions of a coward

It's hard, for me to change:

The way I handle my issues. My hurt. The way I Shove it down So deep Where nobody Can heal it.

It's hard for me, To change who I have been:

Broken, Misunderstood, Scared, A liar, And an outlaw In my own body

Broken

Broken by their words By the harshness of this Cold and unrelenting society By the internal guilt that eats Slowly devouring my will to Try to heal and recover

Misunderstood

Misunderstood when I was only trying to help My intentions were good My actions were meddled Bent by my lack of perspective I wish I had not done anyone harm But it's futile

Scared

Scared of the world Of the untiring suffering That calls out and yearns To envelop just one more. Scared of my demons The secrets I hid The things I try to forget Scary things, in my head.

A liar

I smile, "it's ok" *I'll be fine" Finer than the glittery dust of a splintered broken glass, Finer than the sharpest point of a razor Finer than the finest tragedy you've never met. Fine.

An outlaw in my own body

A complete stranger in a familiar place

Nothing feels right anymore

My limbs ache, my head is sore

I run to my room

I close the door

I'm too scared to change

I'd rather dissociate Than feel this pain anymore.

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