I've drilled it into my head a thousand times. The thought that I would hate and despise you forever. Everything you do, even the way you said my name, made me sick beyond belief.
But I had to live with it, I had to live with you. So I tried to mould you. I tried to confine and enclose the real you, in order for me to create somebody I could bear to be with.
And everyone seemed to love the new you. It made me happy, it really did. And in that moment of time, I no longer despised you. You were somebody who people wanted to be around, especially me.
But I should have known that happiness was temporary. Your new personality stuck around longer than your smile did. Nothing this good lasts forever.
Emptiness took refuge inside of you instead, formed by the realisation that they liked a character moulded out of plastic. And from there, you wondered how it came to be.
In return, you began to despise me. Just when I began to love you, you began to blame me. I was supposed to love you forever, the new you. But the universe doesn't have much mercy to spare on us.
Darling, it's a shame the stars aren't aligned in our favour. I really thought the good could last forever. But everything fake begins to disintegrate. Including this false sense of love.
Now whenever I look into the mirror, I see the person I once hated, veiled with new faux skin.
If only my smile stayed around longer than my self-hatred did.