The Something of my Childhood~~
The Something of my Childhood~~ childhood stories
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t_astrid
t_astrid Want advice/a read? Tag me!
Autoplay OFF   •   4 months ago
My “childhood story” and accepting the skeletons in the closet.

The Something of my Childhood~~

I don't remember my childhood.

I don't remember my childhood. I don't remember any cookie eating

I don't remember my childhood. I don't remember any cookie eating or adventures with kids I met in the park.

I don't remember

I don’t remember smiling

I don’t remember smiling or hugging my parents for comfort.

This

This not remembering

This not remembering didn’t used to bother me

as I would continue to forget the past

as I would continue to forget the past pushing it down like a lemon being pressed

as I would continue to forget the past pushing it down like a lemon being pressed squishing it to nothing but an outer shell.

I was

I was content

I was content knowing that I became this person from

I was content knowing that I became this person from somewhere,

I was content knowing that I became this person from somewhere, but not knowing what that

I was content knowing that I became this person from somewhere, but not knowing what that somewhere

I was content knowing that I became this person from somewhere, but not knowing what that somewhere was.

but now,

but now, that years have passed

but now, that years have passed and I'm building a future

but now, that years have passed and I'm building a future trying to base it on a past

(I can't seem to grasp anything but blackness.

(I can’t seem to grasp anything but blackness..

(I can’t seem to grasp anything but blackness...

(I can't seem to grasp anything but blackness...how can you move forward with that?)

Abuse

Abuse is a fickle thing

Abuse is a fickle thing that messes with the thoughts in your head

Abuse is a fickle thing that messes with the thoughts in your head and will screw with your life for years

Abuse is a fickle thing that messes with the thoughts in your head and will screw with your life for years and years.

(it's like standing straight on the earth while it's tilted 23.5 degrees).

I guess what I'm trying to tell you,

I guess what I'm trying to tell you, (trying to tell someone)

I guess what I'm trying to tell you, (trying to tell someone) is that I had a childhood

I guess what I'm trying to tell you, (trying to tell someone) is that I had a childhood in theory

I guess what I'm trying to tell you, (trying to tell someone) is that I had a childhood in theory but I never really had a childhood

(because there wasn't any

(because there wasn't any cookies,

(because there wasn't any cookies, friends and adventures,

(because there wasn't any cookies, friends and adventures, smiles,

(because there wasn't any cookies, friends and adventures, smiles, or hugs,

(because there wasn't any cookies, friends and adventures, smiles, or hugs, there was just

(because there wasn't any cookies, friends and adventures, smiles, or hugs, there was just something.

(because there wasn't any cookies, friends and adventures, smiles, or hugs, there was just something..

(because there wasn't any cookies, friends and adventures, smiles, or hugs, there was just something...

(because there wasn't any cookies, friends and adventures, smiles, or hugs, there was just something... something

(because there wasn't any cookies, friends and adventures, smiles, or hugs, there was just something... something that I turned into

(because there wasn't any cookies, friends and adventures, smiles, or hugs, there was just something... something that I turned into nothing

(because there wasn't any cookies, friends and adventures, smiles, or hugs, there was just something... something that I turned into nothing so that I could try to move on with my life)

But you can't build a future without accepting the past

I never had a childhood

I never had a childhood for I

I never had a childhood for I was

I never had a childhood for I was abused.

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