Christmas is family time, A time of peace and fun. We eat, laugh, and be merry, and give thanks, every one.
But have you tried cooking the dinner in your mother's kitchen? A word from a wise man - don't. You'll need a bit more than Dutch courage, if you want to tackle the groente.
The parsnips must be perfect, the swede should be superb, the carrots consummate, the potatoes pristine, and don't even start on the the bird.
Turkey, goose, or duck, I admit it is a challenge - but when stuck in a kitchen, which is teeming with children, all toys and noise, it is you she employs, and you know you never will please.
Your cranberry sauce is too sour, and the cabbage doesn't half pong. The gravy is far too broth-like, and the pigs were in too long.
It'll take around four hours, (a break half-way to fight). You'd never think it possible, to have a silent night. She'll peer over your shoulder, and you'll peer over hers. But dare you make a comment, and you'll be in the hors d'oeuvres.
But when it's finally eaten, and you've pulled all the crackers, you start a-dozing, with no one imposing, because despite it all, you've got your wishes - it's not you doing the dishes.