My granny was a stripper, She knew how to move, Ever since I was a nipper. No one ever approved, But we remained chipper, And my granny did groove, The granny that knew how to lap dance.
My granny, unashamed, wore platform shoes, Said it enhanced her legs, As she sang the blues, And enjoyed the mens' begs, As she started to lose, Various bits of clothing.
My granny hung a g-string on the line, Sequins on a bra, That sparkeled and shine. That she passed on to me, And now it's all mine. I had it framed, it's on my bookshelf.
My granny's funeral was the best there could be, A hot-pink coffin, And all glittery. With a hot-pant priest, It would have filled her with glee, My granny was the best of them all.