If I died today, how would I be remembered?
I constantly ask myself, along with the question,
Would I even be remembered?
If I died today, the world would still spin, fish would still swim and my math teacher would continue to give out tests.
If I died today, people would talk about it for a week, maybe, and then they would go on with their normal lives, just without me in it.
If I died today, I would not have left a mark in the world yet, I have not changed many people’s lives, and I feel as if I have not really helped anyone.
Due to this, I believe that if I died today, only certain people would remember who Bee was.
Certain friends would mourn for a little, and then remember how much of a hassle I was to deal with, and be glad I was gone.
Certain people would remember me as that person in their history class, who sat in the corner of the room, and worked quietly, while listening to music.
The person who always got the high A’s, and who sat in back after the day was over and tapped their foot on the ground as they listened to music.
My best friend would remember me, that I can be sure of, at least I think so.
I can’t really speak for him.
Maybe he’ll be glad I’m gone, maybe he won’t.
I guess I’ll never know for sure, as these questions are the ones I’m afraid of asking.
If I died today, I hope he’ll remember me as the person who he first viewed as crazy but quickly became his best friend.
The person who he vented to, the person he loved to spend time with. But maybe, I’m hoping too much, maybe he won’t remember me.
Maybe a year after I die, someone will mention me to him and he’ll just shrug me off, and ignore talking about me, because he doesn’t remember much.
Or he’ll ask, “Who?” at the sound of my name, and he’ll only remember when he sees a photo. But I hope, he’ll remember me if I died today.
My closest friends, maybe they’ll smile at my name when they hear it, or when they hear a song I used to sing all the time, they’ll think of me.
Maybe I’ll come up in conversation,
“Oh yeah, Bee used to love that…” or
“Bee always used to say that…”
I sincerely hope, that they’ll remember me, but I will never know for sure, I guess.
Maybe one day, they’ll read this and I’ll pluck up the courage to ask,
“Would you remember me if I died today?”
They would come back with a variety of answers,
“How could you think I wouldn’t?”
But would they, really? If they do, how would they remember me?
How would they remember me?
Would I be remembered?
If I died today.