Don't Ask Me How Far I'll Go for Love
Don't Ask Me How Far I'll Go for Love lgbt love stories
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semperpugnandi
semperpugnandi but darling what if we change
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
I went too far for people who promised to love me in exchange for not loving girls.

Don't Ask Me How Far I'll Go for Love

Don't ask me how far I'll go for love.

A long time ago someone important asked me.

A long time ago someone important asked me and I said "As far as you want me to go."

A long time ago someone important asked me and I said "As far as you want me to go." And they handed me a belief

A long time ago someone important asked me and I said "As far as you want me to go." And they handed me a belief like a pill to take when sick.

I took it without hesitation

I took it without hesitation and ran with the knowledge presented to me.

I took it without hesitation and ran with the knowledge presented to me. Not because I believed in it

I took it without hesitation and ran with the knowledge presented to me. Not because I believed in it, but because I believed in the person who handed it to me.

Soon someone asked me again,

Soon someone asked me again, and my response remained the same.

Soon someone asked me again, and my response remained the same. So they continue to hand me more pills

Soon someone asked me again, and my response remained the same. So they continue to hand me more pills, and I took them all for love.

But one day I was handed a pill

But one day I was handed a pill, and it wasn't quite like the rest.

But one day I was handed a pill, and it wasn't quite like the rest. I held it in my hand

But one day I was handed a pill, and it wasn't quite like the rest. I held it in my hand, and for a moment I considered not taking it,

But one day I was handed a pill, and it wasn't quite like the rest. I held it in my hand, and for a moment I considered not taking it, and then I remembered I'd go as far as they wanted

For love

For love For acceptance

For them

I swallowed the pill

I swallowed the pill, and it took me ten years to realize

I swallowed the pill, and it took me ten years to realize that was the exact moment

I swallowed the pill, and it took me ten years to realize that was the exact moment they taught me to hate myself.

It's a hard thing to unlearn

It's a hard thing to unlearn when you don't remember learning it at all

It's a hard thing to unlearn when you don't remember learning it at all, but eventually I stopped swallowing their pills

I stopped swallowing their beliefs

Because I still didn't realize it,

Because I still didn't realize it, but it was slowly killing me.

And so now I sit here trying to describe what it felt like

And so now I sit here trying to describe what it felt like to realize they taught me to despise everything I'd always been

to realize I've never been comfortable with myself

to realize all those years they were trying to change me so they wouldn't have to hate me

And it makes my stomach churn

And it makes my stomach churn My palms sweat

And it makes my stomach churn My palms sweat My knees shake

And everything feels a little hopeless

And everything feels a little hopeless because I can't quite remember

And everything feels a little hopeless because I can't quite remember whether I was lying to myself then

And everything feels a little hopeless because I can't quite remember whether I was lying to myself then or if I am now

But then I just think of

Clara's laugh

Heather's smile

Riley's spirit

And my heart knows

And that's when I realize

And that's when I realize, when you're taught your entire life to hate something

And that's when I realize, when you're taught your entire life to hate something, but let go of those teachings to let go of your hatred

And that's when I realize, when you're taught your entire life to hate something, but let go of those teachings to let go of your hatred, you aren't giving up or selling out on love.

You're living in your truth

You're living in your truth And real love would never ask for anything more.

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