It was a day like any other. I was sitting at my office desk with my legs crossed and on the table. A fat cigar in my mouth, and a cookie and Bepsi in my hands.
'This is the life' I thought, eating the cigar and drinking the cookie. I stopped my extreme cigar eating when there were 3 loud knocks at the door.
'It's the Russian Spies' I thought, 'They finally came to kill me. Well, this goose is hard to choke' I thought, grabbing my gun and putting my 5-foot long cigar on the table.
The knocks on the door continued as I eat the empty can of Bepsi and finished drinking my cookie. "Who's there?" I said, making my voice sound like Elvis Presley.
It was a trick I learned from my dad, Elvis Presley.
"It's your next check." said a voice that sounded like Tom Jones. Tom Jones was Elvis' best friend and maybe, at some point, more. I would know. My dad was Tom Jones, and my mom was ur mum.
"Well, with a voice like that," I say sounding like Micheal Jackson, "You could walk right in and hand me that check, OW!!"
In walked a slim lady. She had blonde hair, maybe? And a stunning blue dress, maybe. She was wearing gloves and a black hat, maybe.
She strutted over to the stool in the middle of my room before sitting down as if she were a laundry basket.
"I have a job for you. Are you willing to take it?" She said, messing with her vortex maker. She was obviously threatening me, but boy, did that vortex maker make me vortex.
Of course, though, I couldn't let her think I wasn't a hard-boiled detective, because I was, and I ams, and that's that.
I picked up my 7-foot cigar from the table, re-lighting it, before puffing out little cloud children.
"Tell me, children," I said, taking the cigar out of my mouth, "Should I take the job?"
"Who's askin'?" They said, holding a knife to my neck.
"Now, calm down there, cloud children. I don't want no trouble." I stated as the lady in the stool started folding in on herself, clearly angry but the wall color, gray.
"Can we rush this along?" She asked, killing the cloud children with a coat.
"Who's askin'," I said, sitting down in my cat's litter box.
"And who just are you."
"You are no one, I am Detective."
"Well, Detective, I'm Detective Woman, and I will be your detective for your case. What is your case, Detective."
"Well, I lost my CAT. CAT as in Cool A-hole Tacky Man. The M is silent."
I thought over the question.
I was broke and not a real detective but I knew I had to help her and get that money so I can compete in the talent show, where I would sing and twerk as I always wished.
"Well, ma'am, you got yourself a deal," I said shaking her hand in a manly matter. Little did she know, I also took her vortex maker.
I knew he took the Vortex Maker
"How could you do this?" I yelled over the cries of burning grass. I was hanging off a cliff and she had her foot just over my hand.
"салат боп боп" She said, stepping on my hand.
"I knew you were a Russin Spy from the start," I said as I fall off the cliff, "But this goose isn't so easy to choke!"
I shoot five vortexes behind her and watch as she turns to duck dust and gets sucked into each vorti.
'Well, this is where it ends, huh? Man, looks like this goose isn't so easy to choke, but it is easy to kick it off a cliff,' I think as I plummet to my death. JK This goose can't die.
Jk, yes it can, and I am, and that's that.