I'd almost forgotten what a mother's love was like
It's not at all like romantic love
Which rises and dives like a roller-coaster.
Driven by passion. Desire.
That pushes and pulls. Often within the same moment.
It's not like the love
I have for my children.
Which is so big. And aspirational.
That I can ride to the moon on rocketship pride.
But which is also laced thickly with a parent's fear
Will take it away.
It's different to the love I had for my father.
Which I think was most akin to the love other's might have for their God.
My mother's love.
Just makes my feel better.
When I feel her love, I feel most like I'm 'me'.
Whatever the fuck that is.
It feels like if there was only to be.
A single constant in my life.
This would be it.
And I know for that reason.
I tend to take it for granted.
I don't want to do that anymore.
Tomorrow, I will leave.
But take her love with me.
Because as much as I wish it was.
I know it's not eternal.
And I'm going to try and not to take it for granted.