*Note* Before I continue, I wanna tell you guys that this is not a poem rather a piece about my life's story. This is basically like a therapy session for me. So please stick around if you want to hear me sharing some of the things that I have told only a few.
This piece revolves around one major incident: -I was in 5th grade when I got a great opportunity to study in a really good hostel. Everyone was happy for me. I was happy for myself.
I stayed there but I was really homesick. I managed for a month but after that, I just couldn't. I couldn't bear the separation. So they had to take me to another school.
What is so wrong about this? Everything. I let my parents down from the hope of sending their daughter to a good school. I ruined their reputation. I let everyone down.
After the incident, I have heard my parents expressing their disappointment of me leaving a great chance. I felt every ounce of the hurt they had.
It's already been 3 years since that incident but still, the sadness of my parents lingers in my heart. The feeling that I am worthless is still there. For 3 years I have suppressed these feelings and have acted happy but all along I was lonely. For 3 years I have cried myself to sleep.
Then after all these years, I made my commaful account and it changed everything. Trust me everything.
Here I am able to express my feelings freely without any fakeness required. Since my first post, the people here have been so supportive and helpful. Their support has given me hope. Little by little.
I met amazing people with whom I could share my feelings with no fear. People like @imaginarywriter, @salmakhatoon918 @rosarlei @aashitiwari260 Everyone here is really kind and caring. Everyone who likes and comments my posts have given me a light of hope.
I just want to tell that this site is my home. My place of comfort. And the people here are a part of my heart. Commaful will always be a great turning point in my life. It will always be the site that gave me hope.
I have made this piece to just write down ONE of the things that have been weighing me down. I write this as a letter of confession, thankfulness, and hopefulness.
Finally, I would like to thank @rosarlei for inspiring and giving me a push to write this piece. You truly are a guru even though u might not be a professional psychologist. <33
*Final note* -I want to thank those who stuck with me until the end. I might have bored you with my story. Sorry about that. And for those who are in a similar situation like me, trust me there will be a turning point. Until then, please just hold on.