"You don't HAVE to do anything" - Day 07

"You don't HAVE to do anything" - Day 07 peace stories

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"You don't HAVE to do anything" - Day 07

There is a thing I have been contending with for the past three years, and I am finally figuring it out

I can't go into it all because my brain is completely rattled atm

Let's say I have been digging into my subconscious,​ and figuring out the nature of my intentions

and coming face to face with truly horrible things that are a part of being human

It kind of knocked me out quite a bit, which is why today's story is coming later

What is this all about?

There is a person in this community who makes the blood on my veins freeze on it's tracks

or at least it did...

The conclusion I reached was that if I did not understand how a human being could become THAT way...

I was in danger of becoming just as bad as that person or even worse.

As I am doing this exploration I realize there are nearly no differences between this person and myself.

Now I am REALLY questioning my own convictions and actions.

If I am attempting something as bold as telling women and young women how to act, and some ARE listening...

I better be damn fucking sure of what I am doing and what my goal and methods are...

As I go deep into my thoughts

I am face to face with this creature who I am SURE is absolute evil and I am now trying to warn people about

But I notice that the mere attempt to do that is chipping away at my character and making me feel weak...

I start to realize that maybe it is INTRINSICALLY wrong to do something like that...

But why??

How come that the thought of putting my energy into describing and informing about this person is been rejected by my body

Am I wrong about this person?


But there is another thing I figured out which blew my mind and I want to share it with you today

Keep in mind I have not fully conceptualized this thing but I am getting there.

Here it is, this is why I believe you can never wait for someone to warn you against evil

At any given moment I can use my energy to go on the "offensive" or go on the "defensive".

The "Defensive" or Prey stand is one which makes you weak and anxious because it lacks perception of control

It's not one in which you correctly assume responsibility

That means that the moment I am focused on the actions of someone else, and not what I can do on my own space, I make myself weak

Secondly, to justify myself and convince others I have to be absolutely sold on the idea that this person is PURE evil

Not only am I feeding that notion and fear, I am doing something very damaging to myself...

To say that the person is EVIL I have to make myself into the GOOD guy which means I have to deny the existence of EVIL in myself...

What a conundrum...

Once I do that, I make myself vulnerable to my own darkness because I have to deny it to justify my actions...

It means I am now forced to lie to myself and others while trying to tell the truth...

Why am I telling you this?

The price we pay for peace is that we lose track of the damn Snakes because create a society that protects us from them.

The cities and buildings are keeping the snakes and the elements at bay

Which means we grow soft and start to question why we have all these rules and traditions that don't seem to do anything...

The arrogance of the intellect...

Why am I telling you this?

Girls, no one in here can tell you about the dangers that surround you at every step.

We can't do that because there are always dangers everywhere lurking in the shadows...

That means you can not expect that someone warns you or starts yelling: "Monster, Monster"

I did that and it had the opposite effect...

It won't become a real thing until it is too late and then... it is too late...

So how do you make sure you do not fall prey of the things that lurks in the shadows?

I thought about this a lot and I have good experience with it that seems cohesive with things from the past.

You need to learn the art of "Self Traumatization"

It means to willingly expose yourself to EVIL by the use of your imagination

It is the only way to open your eyes to what is really out there.

it is why the old kids fairy tales are so dark and violent

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