I know today's story will come out 8-9 later than I usually post them.
The truth is that this particular piece is kicking my ass.
I am having a difficult time reaching inside to bring you something interesting and valuable, because to be perfectly honest...
I am hurt
This topic is so densely packed for me, that I am not very confident on how to grab a hold of it.
I am trying to see how much I need to share with you now, before I can get on with it...
And actually give you something of value.
When I was 8 I fell in love for the first time.
Maria was in my class. She was extremely sweet and had a motherly aura about her which she kept al throughout highschool
I was seriously
I was seriously badly
I was seriously badly in love
I was seriously badly in love with this girl
at age ten though, I had still not managed to tell her how I felt.
The thought of her rejecting me was simply:
W o r l d e n d i n g
I remember I organized an entire birthday party at 11 (I was one of the popular kids and I had no idea...)
So I had this party and a plan to finally ask her.
I can't tell you how many plots and plans I made in order to try to tell her how I felt.
I never did tell her.
The reason I am telling you that story is because I am setting up everything that is about to come...
The best way for me to help you avoid the wrong boy is to show you how much power you actually have.
Because the only reason you will end up with the wrong boy is because you'll let insecurities and false notions dictate your actions.
Now, the only way that I can show you just how powerful you actually are, is by telling you what women mean to me
And no, most men are not me. I am not most men. But at the end of the day, we all have much more alike than not.
So what about this girl I was so in love with?
well... from age 8 till age 15 I was madly in love with one girl who I never asked out.
Right before turning 12 I had already realized that it was too late.
I had strangled myself into a mess of thoughts and plots.
It wasn't until recently that I realized how much of my life has been driven by that single failure.
At age eleven I understood regret at SUCH a deep level that I basically became a "YES" man, from that day on
The reason I have almost no fear about anything I do in my life, is because NOTHING could ever compare to how afraid I am to ever have another regret like it
The reason this matters to you is because it would be to your benefit to understand just how terrifying it can be for any guy to be rejected by a girl they like.
In fact, today I realized that one of the main reasons I am not driven to earn money, have an expensive car academic degrees or anything that might give me status...
Is because I have always been blessed with an excessive amount of attention from girls and women.
If I imagined things not being the way they are right now I don't think I would have much of the confidence I carry with me...
And that makes a lot of sense, and here is why:
You have undoubtedly heard that we live in a "patriarchy" in which women have always been oppressed by men.
You have also been lead to believe that the reason things are "better" now is because brave women fought against a system.
Look, I have zero intention of making a mockery out of those statements, because they have been carefully installed for about 60 years...
And some people take them VERY seriously. I can explain to you exactly why and how they originated, but that takes time...
Instead of doing that, I am simply going to ask you to "consider" just a couple of things that I want to share with you as a boy/ man
1. When anyone tells you that you are a victim based on your gender. And then they create an enemy for you to focus and cast blame towards. How do you feel?
Do you feel good? Do you feel strong?
Consider that for a moment.
2. Do you know about WW I and WW II and basically any other war that has ever been fought?
In every single one of those occasions, men have always voluntarily go to fight and die.
Human societies across the ages and across the globe have always agreed on this one thing:
When there is a war, men go to die and women and children stay back.
No man ever said: "How come the women don't also come to the war and die?"
3. Consider the story I told you about myself at a young age and how impactful that still is in my life.
4. If you are blessed with having a "healthy" family, ask yourself:
Is there anything that this man, my father, would NOT do for me?
I know for a fact, that if I was a father, giving up my life for my daughter would not even be a decision I have to make.
"But Rosarlei, I know several fathers who are assholes and beat up their family."
"Yes, those things happen. There are also moms who kill their newborns."
"We care about what the vast majority of people actually do."
If you believe that our society is a thing that systematically oppresses women, you are doing yourself serious harm...
Because you will look at your friend, your father, your boyfriend, and instead of seeing what is really there, you'll be clouded by fear.
That fear will cause you to miss use the power you have. Power which causes us (men) to gladly go and die at a war just to keep you safe.
And look, I am not trying to be dramatic here. I am not denying that plenty of guys are total assholes...
But most guys who turn to assholes or complete losers are those who failed at attracting a woman into their life. Or who lost a woman and never ever recovered.
At this time in history, a good number of women and girls, do not realize what kind of disproportionate power they have over men.
We, men, are dispensable, and we know it. Not only that, we are fine with it.
We truly exist for you. One way or another. And so long as you carry the believe that you or women are victims because of your gender,
You'll turn into one those characters from a movie that has psychic powers which they do not understand and end up blowing up everyone around them.
So, yeah, step number one to avoid the wrong boy is to find a way to figure out exactly how much power you have as a woman, compared to a man.
Before I end this, there is something else I'd like to share with you.
I got into poetry in 2018, about a year and a half after my previous relationship ended.
My trauma did not come from the fact that we did not work out together, but from what the things I saw her do to herself.
I had written two poems before I joined commaful.
Each of them took me six months to complete. I was trying to pack all of the pain that I had into a piece of paper.
This is part of the leftover of writing a 14 stanza Poem (or something like that)
Every single page was written on both sides.
Let me remind you that I am 6,4 or 1,96 cm and I got big hands. But that is the binder:
This is a topic which is very difficult to talk about. Because there is so much noise around it.
As always, give me your feedback. Thank you!
Have a good night!