The Rosarlei Show (Part 7)

The Rosarlei Show
 (Part 7) fowl stories
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rosarlei πŸ‘Š
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The problem of being a domestic Fowl
I was asked to help someone today, but I can not save that person.

The Rosarlei Show (Part 7)

I have a feeling that this post is going to be interesting for a lot of people here.

Because whether for good or for bad, it is a lot easier for us to care about others than to care about ourselves.

Please, could you raise your hand if you often care about others more than about you?

I just want to get a feeling for the room...

hmmm...just like I thought. basically everybody here.

What about you, PUAI? Do you also care about others more than about yourself?

( Β° Β°οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━━━━┓ hmmmmmm...... ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ Not really, boss. ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ I can't say I do. ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ Does that make me a bad person? ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

Nop, not in the least.

Caring about others has nothing to do with being "good" or "bad"

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ What is a good person? ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

What do you think makes a person "good"?

( Β° Β°οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━━━━┓ hmmmmmm...... ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ Someone who does not insult or physically hit someone else ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ and who tries to help others and be kind to them ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛


If you were to meet someone who insulted, and physically assaulted you, would get away from them?

(☞ Β°β–½Β°) ☞ ┏━━━━━━━━━┓ of course! I am not dumb. ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛


Let me ask you something though, what if the person hurts you indirectly?

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ What do you mean? ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

What if this is a person whom you care about, and they are harming themselves?

(☞ Β°β–½Β°) ☞ ┏━━━━━━━━━┓ I would EVERYTHING in my power to talk to them ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

But they are not listening to their own intuition, so why would they ever listen to you?

And also, how are you so sure that you want the best for them?

(Β°γƒ­Β°)☝ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━━━━┓ I do because... ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

or that you KNOW what the best for them is?

(Β°γƒ­Β°)☝ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━━━━┓ Well...hmmm ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

I mean, are you in your own life doing ONLY what is good for you?

Do you even understand what that means for your own life?

Because unless you do, you won't really have a chance of​ helpi​ng your friend.

(●_●) ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ I don't like where this is going... ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

We are going to a good place, but we will have to drag ourselves through shit and blood and stones to get there...

I am going to pause the story for a second to say something important.

If you are expecting a "trick" on how to get a friend of yours to listen to you RIGHT NOW

You will not find that here. If you speak to a friend and he or she does not listen or agree with what you are saying, it's best to move on.

I will, however, give you everything else in order to help you become someone who, IN THE FUTURE, can have the kind of influence you wish you had now

Not being able to help your friend today, might or might not be your fault. Maybe you are NOT the kind of person who others will listen to.

Think about for a moment: Who do you listen to? What kind of human being would you be willing to give your attention to, and hear their advice?

And THEN, take action on that advice. Are you that kind of person? Because if you are not, then why should anyone listen?

Let's get back to the story

We are going to a good place, but we will have to drag ourselves through shit and blood and stones to get there...

(Β¬_Β¬) ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ You are being a bit dramatic right now, right? ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

Let's continue and you can tell me at the end.

How about that?

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ Alright, so where do we go from here? ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

I asked you why anyone should listen to you and anything you have to say?

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ I don't know... but some people seem to listen to you... why is that? ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

Alright, so let's talk about that. Some people ​in this site, do listen to some of the things I say and a few would even take action based on those things which were said...

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ I noticed that, but I don't understand what it is that you get out of it? ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ Are you just a good person who likes to help others who need it? ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

Absolutely not.

Me "helping" others is more selfish than anything else. And since you bring up the thing about being a "good" person, let's talk about that.

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ Selfish? How? And what a good person? ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

To be blunt and quick about it, a good person is someone who CAN and is WILLING to do harm, but who decides NOT to.

If you do not hurt others because you are afraid of the repercussions or because you don't have the strength to do it...

That does not mean you are virtuous.

It means you are a coward.

(Β¬_Β¬) ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ That is a hurtful thing to say... ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

I am aware, but I would much rather that you have a bit of pain right now, than a LOT of pain and regret in the future.

( Β° Β°οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━━━━┓ I think I need some time to process this... ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ I just always assumed that I was good because I was not able to hurt others. ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

Let's take a tiny break, here, have this GIF

and grab some tea

The problem with not being ABLE and WILLING to hurt someone else, whether emotionally or physically​, is that you are hiding from your own shadow.

You are negating the dark parts of yourself, which live in every human being. You are a coward because you are not willing to face them for fear of the trauma.

But facing that darkness WILLINGLY is the only way to actually survive the trauma, and become someone who respects themselves, and not someone who is resentful.

Choosing to face up to your own darkness is a choice. That choice results in you being NAIVE. Being naive results in you attracting PREDATORS.

A predator will FORCE their darkness on to you because you were unable to see what the predator was up to.

You thought the wolf was a sheep, because you have suppressed the wolf in you.

And now, you wish to help a friend who is ALSO being naive...but guess what?

You can not safe your friend from the wolf, because you yourself have chosen to remain weak, a sheep.

And you think that being a sheep is better than being a wolf, but that just isn't true.

You, the power of the wolf comes from listening, and observing what the sheep wants to hear...

and then they give the sheep EXACTLY what they want.

That sheep will then get hurt and everyone who loves that sheep, will be FORCED to watch how she dies.

And if the sheep does not die, the sheep will become resentful and pessimistic about life.

the sheep will become someone who blames others for their misfortune.

Instead of being grateful, strong, and respected, that sheep will be nothing else than a cancer who points at everything that is wrong.

It's ironic, isn't? Because there are FAR more sheeps than there are wolfs...and most of us are worried about the wolf...

I am not worried about the wolf though. A wolf has never ever being able to hurt me.

I know how a wolf looks like and I know exactly how to stand up to them...

But I had to learn the game of the sheep, the way they use pity and guilt to manipulate you.

Every wound on my body, is a knife on my back, delivered by a sheep.

Because I failed to understand what it meant to truly be a good person.

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ . . . ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ What do I need to do in order to not be a sheep? ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

Simple, you need to start looking at the things which you do NOT want to see.

Your goal is to develop courage bit by bit.

Courage is developed by gradually exposing yourself to the things you are afraid of

You need to teach yourself that facing your fears is a good thing. So just pick ANY fear and face it.

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ Why do you help others and how do you do it? ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

The reason I " help" others is very simple. I have it all. There is nothing in this world that I feel I need.

My basic human needs for security, adventure, love and self-respect are completely fulfilled.

Once those needs are covered you will be naturally drawn to "growth" and learning new things.

That will lead you down a path of self-discovery in which you'll have to constantly face fears and dark shit.

Once you grow up to a certain point, a void will be created. An excess of growth will DEMAND that you contribute to others with that growth.

So, the main reason I CAN contribute is because I have walked the path for a long time.

The reason is am WILLING to help you, is because if I don't I will collapse inside.

my life has no meaning if I simply grow and don't do anything with that growth.

That means that when I "help" someone, I actually get an enormous amount of pleasure.

Notice I say "help" because I am perfectly aware that my impact is actually very small.

( β€’ β€’ οΌ‰ ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ But why do people actually, listen to you? ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

If you want to "inspire" others. (I do not, btw. I do not even want to help you. Because I do not know what helping you means...)

But if you wonder what it takes to be someone who can influence others in any way, this is what I can share with you:

I am 34 now and for me, every thing started when I was 21. That means that I have been at it for 13 years.

What have I been doing for the past 13 years? The what is not as important as the INTENSITY with which it must be done.

Let me give you a tiny example of the discipline, the talent and the skill that it takes to even have the opportunity to "kind of" help someone else.

When I was 27 I decided to apply for a top College in Berlin for a BA in Economics.

It was a grueling process. I already had a full Bachelor in Liberal Arts with top 1% grades.

Now, three years later I was going to study economics in German.

That meant I had to get really good at Calculus and Math.

But I was always bad at math, the worst in my class. Which is why I studied Liberal Arts.

I found a way to get myself interested in Mathematics. like, VERY interested.

Six months before the classes started, I began to learn 1st-grade​ mathematics. 4 hours a day.

4 hours a day, not counting breaks and no Instagram either. The other 4 hours I used to learn German.

Eventually, the 4 hours became 8 hours a day. Again, not counting breaks. Not taking a single day off.

I covered middle and high school math in 6 months and joined the university.

They tested our Calculus knowledge with an exam. I got 28 out 100

I was fucking pissed...

I never went to a single class in the university again. Instead, I went to the library.

I went to the Law-students library because it opened at 7 am (one hour earlier than the Economics Library)

By that time, I was so good at focusing, I studied 12 hours a day (without counting breaks) 7 days a week for the next 4 months before the test.

The university was closed on Sundays, so I used to leave a window open on Saturday nights in order to sneak in through it on Sundays.

I wasn't only learning Calculus, but also Law, management, accounting, programming etc...

When it came time to do the test, I realized that is was at least 5 times over-prepared for it.

I absolutely destroyed it. I finished it in half the time and went over the whole thing 3 times before turning it in.

When I got my grade back, I had a 1.3 In Germany, 1.0 is the highest grade you can get.

I was so happy... You can not imagine how proud I was. Until I went to see my test and find out where I had make the mistake.

On the first god damn page... I made ALL my mistakes in the easiest questions... which I didn't both to check because they were so easy....

and so I didn't get a perfect score and 7 years later, today It still makes me so angry...

I ended up becoming a Calculus and Mathematics teacher and I helped a LOT of kids for about two years.

I am telling you this because there is not a human being in this world who can study for 12 hours a day. Go and find that person, please.

But that is the same intensity witch which I do everything, which I why you have seen me accomplish the things I have done on this site.

So think about it for a second: In order for me to become known and "respected" here I had to give everything I had.

After I did that, I turned around and told you EVERYTHING about me. My most embarrassing​ secrets.

I am doing all that in order to build a reputation with you.

So, I had to take all that talent, all that effort and all that willingness to JUST help you

I had to do ALL THAT, in order to get SOME of you, to KIND of listen to what I was telling you...

basically, I had to become a billionaire before I could CONVINCE you to please take 2 dollars from me.

I am going to say it again: I had to absolutely go through hell and back before I was able to get five people to even look in my direction.

Do you want to know how to get a friend to listen to you?

there you go

(●_●) ┏━━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━βˆͺβˆͺ━━┓ . . . ┗━━━━━━━━━━┛

And what else...99% of the times, I will have NO effect on the other person.

The 1% of the times I do have an effect, all I really did was nudge them a bit

Because, even if I was "right" about something, I only make you weak if I make you do as I say.

Do understand now what it takes to give a TINY nudge to 1% of the people in your life?

the 1% who was READY to listen to you anyway.


bufff....well, this story is done, I hope you all enjoyed it. As always, let me know how it made you feel, whether I was able to reach you or not.

I am saying things that I already know and this is only worth it if I can do it a way that actually helps. So, help me help you. I'd appreciate it ^^

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