My day had gone pretty normal.
I started the second week of school which wasn't great.
But that was the least of my bad thoughts.
As they day went through, I had ups and downs,
Making stronger friendships, realizing that others aren't so great.
All throughout the day I could hear a song playing in my head.
One line stuck to my brain from Hammer To Fall (by Queen).
"What the hell are we fighting for?"
I sleepily walked though classes, waiting to go home to practice my guitar.
Or something along the lines of that.
AKA I just sat at the computer pretending to do homework, but I was actually listening to music.
Then I drifted to Commaful.
I checked the recently uploaded to see something from @boblong.
I hadn't read much of his (or anybody's) stories since summer, so I gave it a try.
That's when my heart stopped.
No I'm not dead or dying.
At least not on the outside.
I read of a girl.
She didn't feel loved.
She didn't have hope.
She was abused.
She might now be dead.
That's what stopped my heart.
I sat there for a second, looking at blinking lights as a meaningless song blared in my earbuds.
After a little rereading, I believe I figured out who that girl was/is.
I hadn't known her much.
Just a follow and a good luck/compliment thing.
It wasn't even big, but she took it that way.
She always had seemed happy whenever I saw her in the Discord chat.
I would have never guessed that she would maybe take her life.
I used to think that death was a good answer, myself.
I kept thinking that I had a reason to hate myself, but in reality there was no reason for me to want to die.
Every thought that I had felt in seventh grade came in a tsunami.
She had it worse than me (if you can say that I had anything), but she had fought through it.
And almost reached the end of the pain.
I wanted to do something, but what was done could never be changed, so I just started writing until I had this.
But I don't want you to even bother thinking of me.
Think of her.
Think of yourself.
It's not embarrassing to get help.
If not for yourself, do it for me.
Some stranger on the internet that doesn't want to put her heart through anymore.
Or if not for me, do it for her.
Someone that never had the chance to see their dreams become a reality.
It may be a cruel world we live in, but it's not a lonely one.
Her story is such a sad one, but it's true for many people out in the world.
You Are Not
You Are Not Alone.