Dear Mr Popular, Do you remember me? The girl that had that was stuck in the same class with you for five consecutive years?
When I first saw you, just like everyone else, I had a little crush on you. Cringy text messages and giggling about you with my friends, uhh, I didn't mean to be creepy, I swear!
Three years passed and my starstruck stares became disinterested stares. I remember rolling my eyes at every ridiculous action you did.
And when people squealed and giggled about you, I only gave them a weird look, like 'seriously?'
Remember how you held your best friend in your arms, and the both of you danced in ballroom style?
It had to be the weirdest thing I've ever seen, especially when you guys pretended to be lovey-dovey.
Anyway, a year passed and it was our fourth year together, in the same class! What the heck! I remembered your best friend coming up to me going, "hey, uh, you know how to break an egg?"
And I only gave him a "wtf?!" look.
Oops, getting off track here. Ahem, so somehow we ended up exchanging numbers, followed by chatting, which led to late night chats (and I mean late like 4am).
We grew closer and closer, and surprise surprise, I ended up liking a guy that's my friend. Wow, how cliche.
You know, you pretty much pissed me off for the entire two years, since I couldn't get over that crush (is it considered puppy love, crush or love idk man), for that two whole years, ugh.
Mixed signals? Check. My heart skipping a beat whenever you walked past me? Check.
That eyebrow raising thing you did as a way of saying hi to me, that gets to me like I don't even know how, checccck.
Your jokes and cringy pick-up lines that cracked me up, denying that fluttering heart within me, yep. Check.
Glancing your way unintentionally, and my eyes voluntarily searching for you in the middle of the lesson (omg why). Gah, check!
Wondering whether you would say anything to me as you walked past my table, that heart-stopping moment (ohhhhh myyy goddd). Mhmm, check.
Phew, now that's a long list isn't it? Now, let me get to the important part.
Your. Bloody. Mixed. Signals.
Jesus, could it kill you not confuse me for once? You told me you like some girl, and you make jokes like walking me home, pick-up lines that you do only to me and not other girls.
Keeping your eyes on me as your friends talked to you, seating beside me whenever you had the chance.
And you know what got me the most? When you said the person who you would date in the class, among the girls, is me. Me!!
Dude! Seriously, stop! I'm confused as it is, since it's my first time having such a serious crush, and I'm barely holding onto that thin line of sanity.
"You guys should date, like really, just date already. Both of you chose to date each other out of everyone."
Those were my classmate's wise words, and god, the emotions that came rushing at me, ugh. I blame you, so, so much. Of course, I shrugged it off, laughing and you did the same...sigh, what did I expect?
..you really did the same, damn! It's fine though! It only hurt a little. ...okay, I lied, it wasn't a little.
But you know what? I didn't regret liking you at all, I did cry for you once, once! Hey, don't get all cocky now, popular boy.
I hated the feeling of liking you, but I loved the feeling too, it's uhhh complicated, but you get me.
Sigh, liking someone sure is tough, espeically if it's your first time.
Well, even though we parted ways, in an awkward manner, and I'm pretty sure you did like me in one way or another. I still regretted many things, I regretted not having enough courage.
I regretted not keeping in contact with you after prom.
I regretted not being more aggressive, I mean, I was the one making the first move most of the time! (In texting, hahah...)
But, my biggest regret of all is not telling you that I sincerely like you. Not in past tense, but in present tense.
I truly, sincerely, like you. That's what I wished I ended up saying.
Sincerely, From the shy, quiet girl that didn't have the guts to confess truthfully.
PS. I wasn't offended when you called me a chick by the way, and the way you tried to explain yourself was cute. Too cute.