Would she read it?
If she read it would she see it?
Is she willing to believe if I conceive it?
On her journey does she remember me?
Does she find me peering out from behind the concepts?
Is she afraid to see me there, waiting for her?
Should I stop waiting? I won't.
If my life depended on it I'd still wait.
Standing here, where I belong and still feel lost.
In the mirror for hours, eyes pried open.
1000 visions of sadness after every wink.
Like a marathon of nightmares.
I wake up, reflect.
All day every day.
It doesn't feel like suffering anymore.
It's agonizing duty, a thing I simply must do.
For it is you in my sight, hiding behind my world.
Sneaking behind my every word.
I search for an answer when there is none.
What must I do?
I'm shattered, but these pieces cry over you.
I'm on the side watching you from afar.
Missing you without judgement.
Silencing my own greed, now almost effortless.
I hold my tongue, and let you be.
I trust in you.
Even when you lie to me.
Even when I know your lying to me.
Even when you omit.
It doesn't make me love you any less.
I would do it all.
For every reason.
But tonight I'm exhausted.
We sleep apart because you're exhausted.
All these rules are exhausting.
I miss you.