It's 1 am, go to bed.
It's 1 am, 
                   go to bed. thoughts stories
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rebeccakoundour
rebeccakoundour Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   a month ago
You are not alone in your worries.

It's 1 am, go to bed.

I sit alone in my house, without the comfort of my usual companion.

He is gone.

I sit alone in my house.

Why is love not enough? Or is it that the love was never strong enough to endure? My feelings are complex.

Is it that I miss him, or I miss not being alone? But even being with him, I felt alone. Is it maybe that I feel less alone with him?

Or is it that misery loves company?

I sit alone in my house.

What do I want to do with my life? I've always had a plan; photography, then film directing, writing...

And now what? Can I not stick to a passion because I am scared or because I am lazy? Is it possible to not be good at anything at all? What if I never find anything to do with myself?

I feel this calling inside of me that I could accomplish great things and yet I don't think I have the will to even try. Every courageous act I do seems to get harder and harder every time.

I was a brave child, how did I become such a cowardly adult?

I sit alone in my house.

What will happen to me when I die? Being brought up Christian I used to look forward to death because that meant I could ride dinosaurs in heaven.

It meant I could see my family and hold my lost pets again. It meant I could finally hear Gods' answers.

I sit alone in my house.

If there is no God, what happens next?

I sit alone in my house. If he doesn't exist, then what is the meaning of everything?

I sit alone in my house.

If there is no meaning, then why do we worry so much about every little detail of our lives?

I sit alone in my house.

But if there is no God, then what made everything there ever was or will be?

I sit alone.

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