I hurt. I smile like im posing for picture in a frame, like im sitting here feeling the same, but im not. I was there for you, when you were feeling down, when you were felling blue. I would put my pain aside, dry my tear filled eyes and pray for you.
I listened to everything you told me. Because everything you said was important to me because it was important to you Everything i did was guided by you. So you knew everything i said was true. I cared about you. There wasn't a thing i could do. My heart had no love, had no strings but with you some grew, believing you'd be the one. Hoping what you said was true.
But no. You played with it. Like a chef kneeding doh, or tieing the stings and tying a bow around my throat. And i cant breathe. I feel my brain about to seize. My bloods beginning to freeze... My vision is blurred, faint voices is all that can be heard... My family and friends are there, giving me a shoulder to bare. But.... All i do is stare... Thinking they deserve better then this
Swearing theyd be better with my wrist slit, and mouth full of dirt grit. But no, when i stopped walking they kept pulling. When i stopped eating the kept forcing. when i broke down, they built up. As time passes i still feel pain, but i look at it like water in a sink, it will take time, but eventually it all goes down the drain. Sometimes,
Sometimes, i wonder if i should just take a plane and get away from everything i know and ease this pain in my brain. Hoping some how that keeps me sane. Theres times i wanna call you. Ask you. Was that really you. Playing my heart, making me look for the truth, But you spoke no truth, you spit venom. Speaking me down like tough denim.
I took what little you gave me, took the damage you set me, and what pieces you left me. And built what i could to try and breathe again. But in the end, this is a trend. But for your safety, sanity, sanctuary, you got to pre-tend that its fine, Let them sit there and drink their wine. Like they're so fucking DeVine. Let them wallow in their in there brine of lies.
Just take your time and cut your ties. Theres always a reason why. So why even try.