My first poem (what I have so far)
My first poem (what I have so far) poem stories
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raukenn
raukenn Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   4 months ago
This my first poem, it isn't complete though. It's also my first time using commaful idk how I feel about the pictures... I would also like feedback on what I have so far.

My first poem (what I have so far)

We were out of time

you may deem it crazy

to see the things you love

disappear right from your eyes

You might hate my love

it's from a different atmosphere

the air was foggy

the sulfur burning our eyes

But you are out of line

getting rid of our space-time

everything we remember

now only seen with closed eyes

I remember looking above

smiling at any dove

even when they suddenly fall from the sky

I looked to the mirror and saw the shine in my eyes

It seems I have no time

to even close my eyes

to reminisce of a flawed world

for now I must stare at reality with a pair of borrowed eyes

Now I remember your face

looking so out of place

as if you came from nowhere

Your body out of pace

mind in the wrong place

you would choke on the thinnest of air

We'd start the fire

in a forest no less

the flame hugged the trees and put them to rest

On your face, a look of ire

disgust at the mess

you speak as if the stranger knows best

Yet in the small recluse of our lives

there was one special thing to keep

somewhere we kept our precious treasures

You spoke of a world so disgusting

with no pretty flames or blood

"Are you out of your mind? Can you say that one more time?"

Sometimes I like to block the sunshine

they would always do my favorite dance

but you didn't find it amusing

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