You can tell that I am indeed hurting. Instead you choose to let me be a helpless snail in salt.
You seen every tear fall down my brown sugar cheeks you had more than three obvious decisions and instead of thinking outside of the box, you put me in one.
We were once friends that was until it was my birthday and you suddenly...
Left. Packed your suitcase with my heart and tied your laces with my good memories.
Never walked on grass because underneath the surface reminded you of me.
Forgetting that I have feelings you'd tell me lies. Getting my hopes up high I'd have butterflies in my stomach.
Remembering my guardian angel told me it was a lie and this is anxiety.
But my stupid heart told me your love was true.
I'd give up sex until you found it as a way to control me.
Saying "I am your dominant and I'm TELLING you, you're the submissive"
Giving me everything less than a pot to piss in and here I am counting stars getting lost in a motion.
Thinking of ways to end it all...
What if a shark found my corpse. Or what if my body would just flow and from heaven I could watch myself fade away as if I was ever allowed in hell.
What if I lifted myself and learned to carry on, I know I'll hold on to this burden for God knows how long
I can't take the pain bleeding out from the cuts I’m aftaid I might cut the wrong vein due to these butterflies in my guts
But not that you would care. I know you wouldn't give a fuck. So here I am
Collecting my tears into a jar
Sitting in this box, I swallow down my last memories, my escape plan is to supply the pain killer where it is needed
I wish I could see you on the other side.
Thank you for reading!! Queen Out👑 Suicidal Butterfly🦋