This is going to hurt me. Not because I don't have the capacity to understand, but because a part of me doesn't want to. You are the one person that I can't figure out how to free myself from. I needed your lies after what happened. I hate myself everyday for going back to you.
I needed to make myself believe that I wanted what happened to happen. If I could believe that than it wouldn't hurt so much. Either you were going to fix me and make me whole again or you were going to finish breaking me.
You taught about the imagination of men at a young age. You taught me how to use my body to please men. You taught me how to lie and manipulate to survive. You were completely fucking evil.
You had me crawling on that floor begging for my life.
I cried myself to sleep so many nights. I wanted to die. No one has ever had the capacity to hurt me in the ways you did. Yet I am still here fighting, and you thought you killed me....