I have questions... That could fill a century. Where is happy? Where does she live? How can I make her fall in love with me?
What is living? How do I live? Sometimes I feel like I am in a desperate need to stop breathing
Don't get me wrong. I'm not sad or angry or hateful or any mental case. it's just the real human condition. finding. finding is all we do...
Sometimes I have feelings that make me want to rip my chest open just to find myself. sometimes I want a soul to sit me down and tell me what I'm searching for, yawning for, craving for, seeking... because finding is so hard to do.
Do you get me? I feel like I need a new body. a new mind, a new soul. because nothing I see around me seem to be it. where is it? I have friends but I want to leave them all. They are amazing...
I want to do better. I want to do something new. I want to make something with my signature on it. I want to bring something out of me but it doesn't seem to be there
And when all these seem to be the case; I just want to get lost in a world where I can't feel
I hate hearing my heart beat. It makes me feel like there's a need. And the fear of not knowing it is painful. The fear of disappointing. I hate needs. In the pigsty of my life , I'm sure there are diamonds. I just can't reach them or find them. finding is all we do Huh! ?
Some midnights I wish I was sleeping beauty or Cinderella. cause I stay awake thinking of how 5 years from now will look like. If I'll feel more valuable by tomorrow. then I stalk people. Going through their instagram account. mine's blank.
I'm scared of being like Adam Pokali. He's the guy that died still finding his pulse and was never remembered for anything. no one misses him. sometimes I like to feel my pulse, just next to the slit on my wrist.
There's this object I'm scared of. it's more dangerous than a two edged sword in a killer's hand. still I like to touch it and understand it's mechanism. I envy is cryptic powers. Each step u take revolves around it.
It's the clock. 🕒 tick tock tick tock.
Last night I sat on the couch with my wall clock . turning the hands forward and backward. But when I called Adrian and Emily; they said the time was still the same . tick tock tick tock
I Love marshmallow's beats. I'm scared of cancer. It's creepy to know something had been eating you up slowly, unknown to you. Death is a different topic. It's shocking how everything can stop in 1 second. The time is ticking but you were stucked in a second of last breath
Mediocre, mediocrity. I have spent most of my time rechecking the meaning of those words. And I'm trying my best to run from them. There's this girl I saw, I wanted to look like her but then I'm me right?
That's it. I love purple. Because it's a blend of Red and blue. Cold and warm. Left and right. I love to read short stories when I can't sleep at night. I would love to get lost in a lyrics from a song.
I love to eat. I have written a few stories, most I have abandoned and left incomplete. and I love Spongebob Squarepants Also Jack and Sally ♥
I use to think finding real love was going to be difficult. And all I needed. But the need to find my feelings and thoughts have proven to be the reason I like to stay alone and be numb. love can wait
Simply put. I love stormy weathers. I Love sunflowers but hate the sun. And If you ever see Mr. happier. Please tell him I miss him. And I just want a hug.
Simply put I feel blank. Empty and the need. I love to cry. it Make me feel good. It's somethin I just find myself doing for no reason. that's Jack and Sally. And I'm an April born.
It's 29th November. Sweet November. I'll love to be a photographer. 📷 It's 2:04 Am. it's 2018. soon it'll be a new year... And all I want for Christmas is a camera.
My seconds By purplejournal. Destiny Felinah.