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prokatstinationI guess I'm pretty cool.
Autoplay OFF  •  7 months ago
Chapter 1: ?
A story idea bouncing around for a while, but is it worth pursuing? Let me know! Comment with suggestions, either to help this story or my writing in general.

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by prokatstination

Chapter 1: ?

You watch her walking home.

Your eyes trace her soft curves - she doesn't ever exercise, but she's the only one who minds - and land on her eyes.

They're emptier than usual;

Almost as if they were emptied out. You wonder, "Is she okay?" But you don't dare approach - you can't.

But even before your thought finishes, she begins to run.

Her hair is streaming ribbons, scarlet-orange in the sun.

You pick up your feet and follow her.

Her eyes aren't empty anymore - blank determination, hatred, and a smile all intertwined.

You long to call out to her,

"Why are you running? Where are you going?"

She wouldn't respond to you, of course, but nonetheless,

you can't help but wish she thought out loud.

"Sure would make this easier," you mumble under your breath as you follow breathlessly. You wonder if you're the one who should exercise more.

A few moments after, she stops, wheezing.

"Fuck, I need to get out more often." Her husky voice reminds you of a lullaby, words long forgotten even as the tune lingers. Her eyes remind you of the last time your mother sang it to you.

Lonely, and wishing time would stay put.

Just for a little while...

She shoulders her backpack and walks on.

The sun shines on her now-amber hair. She slows down as she approaches the house - you wonder if she's afraid to go in -

but then she glances back.

Without a second thought, she rushes inside.

She chides herself,

"Dummy, no one was lurking behind you."

You grin and follow her in.

She goes straight to the bathroom, where she pulls out something you hadn't see in a long time. Your smile fades.

You realize what she's about to do.

Your grin appears to have been contagious, because a peaceful smile meanders onto her lips as she pulls it out, and drags it across her shoulder.

"Wouldn't do for anyone to notice, would it?

That would ruin the fun."

Her husky voice drags across your heart

As the blood begins to fall from her shoulder.

A door opens.

"Fuck!" She rushes around, picking everything up, washing the alcohol over the razor.

"Honey, are you in there?"

You wonder, will she finally get caught?

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bernardtwindwilGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
7 months agoReply
I think an awful lot of people will identify and or relate to this. Write more. Great story!!!!!!

7 months agoReply
wow i like it!! i think the plot is really good. I think if you chose more relevant background images and worked on the dialogue a bit, it could be one of the best!