I want to go back
I want to go back depression stories
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poetrysharer22
poetrysharer22 Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   4 months ago
Just another poem about depression

I want to go back

I want to go back to the time before sixth grade

Where anxiety did not consume me

Where depression did not lurk in every night

Where stress was just something that adults have to deal with

I want to go back to a time when I did not notice all my imperfections

The tiny red spot right below my left eye

The flat nose that everyone would notice

The smallest bit of fat on my stomach that would poke through all my tight shirts

The thigh gap that does not exist

The extra 10 pounds that mean the difference between beautiful and ugly

I want to go bak to a time when I was scared of death

Where I did not fantasize about jumping in front of a train, a car, or out of a window

Where I did not search through the bathroom cabinets to find anything that I can overdose on

Where I did not stare at a razor and think about cutting through my veins with it

I want to go back to a time when I did not want to hurt myself

When I did not have the instinctive reaction to cut myself at every sharp object I see

When I did not fantasize about a blade piercing through my skin and slowly bleeding to death

When I thought I deserved happiness

I want to go back to a time when pain was a punishment

Instead of a way to feel relief

Instead of a way to get rid of the numbness that would consume me

Instead of a way to still feel alive and not just a soul trapped on this earth

I want to go back to a time when I used to have hope for life

When I was filled with real laughter and not just fake smiles

When I was confident

When I thought I was beautiful

When I used to love myself

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