Sleepless nights I’ve had a lot of sleepless nights lately. I don’t think I’ve had a regular night of sleep since you left really. Kind of weird isn’t it? Not being able to let my subconsciousness take over my whole mind. Being afraid of- if I do- I would think about you even more.

Of course only if that’s possible. So, I lay awake at night. Going through thousands of things I’d like to tell you. Thousands of words that will never reach you. But then there is this sentence that won’t leave my mind and keep repeating itself over and over again. I am sorry

It keeps going through my head. Perhaps because maybe you would have stayed if i told you that I’m sorry. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not sorry for the time we spend together or falling for each other I am not even sorry for the fights or the times we’ve hurt one another.

I am sorry that I wasn’t the one. I could not make you stay, I wasn’t the one who could make you settle down and stay. Not your Happyend or your happily ever after. I am so sorry I wasted your time. And I am sorry for realising it now. As I’m alone in this room at 3 am and not a few month ago when you were in my arms.

I am sorry that all my songs are about you. That you are in every word that I say. Forgive me that I am to selfish to get over you. I am to selfish to let the thought of us- of you- go. I can’t get over you because you are not someone anyone could get over. That sounds stupid. Maybe I am...stupid.