Crumble
Crumble loss of hope stories
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poeticwater
poeticwaterI might never find my peace
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
A poem on an emotional breakdown. It may not be very good poetry.

Crumble

Today was perfectly lazy

Nothing went wrong

I listened to that music you liked

That I don't

To try to like it

All for you

Today was perfectly lazy

A last minute check and a miss click

I ended up in your email instead of mine

I shouldn't have gone further

I should've clicked out when I realized my mistake

But, a message caught my eye

Soon I found my self digging and scrolling

Looking through conversation

Well,

That's when it began to crumble

I saw the word rude

I saw the word oblivious

I saw the word stupid

I saw the word fake

All to describeb the people around you

All to describe me

I shuddered

I thought you were my best friend

I thought we'd be friends forever

And now I don't want to see you

Because, you think I'm rude

Because you think I'm stupid

Because you think I'm oblivious

Because you think I'm fake

Go ahead and whine to your boyfriend

Like you always do

Exaggerate to him

And he'll exaggerate back

Okay, that was harsh

But I'm being pulled apart

This is when I began to shatter

My best friend

My best friend

My best friend?

My friend?

Someone?

Do you even like me!

Or am I one of the people you can't stand?

Who am I to you?

What am I to you?

To him I'm nothing

Well, I'm something

I'm annoyingly annoying

Am I that to you?

Am I utterly terrible?

What is this?

What is life?

What is air?

What is anything?

How can I live?

What is this?

I'm shattering

I'm breaking inside

You talk to them

You never talk to me the way you used to

Watch me crumble to the ground

Blow away my dust

Keep on being who you are

I love the way that you are

It's who you are

Who am I?

Somebody who's hated by everybody

That's how it seems

I can't seem to hold in my tears

No matter how hard I try

I can't seem to survive

No matter how hard I try

I'm not going to end it

I'm not stupid or oblivious that way

I'm just oblivious to everything else

Apparently

My glass house can't take anymore rocks

It was almost mended,

But one hit to something that's not yet mended

Causes all work to be lost

Everything I did

Wasted

Because my house had another blow

I can't

I just can't

Help me now

In my state of pity

I can no longer go to the perfect city

I'm too far away

It will take forever

I'm back to being a black rose

Floating in a sea of white ones

I'm finding the old notebooks relatable

The colors of the world that made my home

Are black because it's dark out

I'm done

I'll never be successful

Who was I kidding?

I'm mediocre at best

I'm stuck as less

I can't

I can't

I know I truly can't when I say can't

And if I said can I would do better,

But it's not worth it anymore

Nobody loves my broken house

Nobody loves me when I try to be happy

They call me crazy

I remember being that happy kid

So innocent

Why did that have to end?

Why must it end?

I'm no longer only crumbling

Like I used to

I'm now shattering

Everything is shattering

Everything is shattering

Broken glass

Miss interpretation

I feel so alone

I feel so alone

I feel so damn alone

And I hate it

I want to curl up and read my books

I don't want to sleep

Sleep will be filled with dreams

I don't deserve dreams

I don't anymore

Not anymore

I'm crumble

Crumble is the good part of the donut,

So, I'm not actually crumble

I'm not that good.

I'm never that good

Never

I'm sorry for whatever I said

I'm sorry

I didn't mean to make you think I was fake

Everything was real, but my jokes

The ones I said "jk" after

Like you always do

I'm trying to do your sense of humor

To make you laugh

Apparently only your boyfriend is allowed

I hate this

This sucks

This stinks

I'm shattered

Now and forever

I'm shattered

I'm sorry I wasn't good enough

I'm sorry I didn't meet your expectations

I'm here for you

If you ever need me

Don't talk bad about me

Please?

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