"You have a crush on me!" screamed Bradley. "I do not," growled Peter. "Yes, you do." Peter lowered his head sadly. "Fine... I admit it... I do."
Caroline, one of the most prettiest girls in the 4th grade, was watching Bradley and Peter scream at each other with some of her own friends. Caroline wanted Peter to have a crush on her.
"Where are you going?" asked one of Caroline's friends, a girl nowhere near as pretty as Caroline. Caroline didn't reply. She was too sad.
That afternoon, at home in her soft, pillowy, bumpy bed, Caroline tried to strangle her sorrows with her iPad.
She went on all sorts of websites (even ones she wasn't supposed to). She also downloaded strange apps and created a fake email address in case she wanted to be a Russian hacker when she grew up.
But, even after doing all of these shocking things, Caroline still thought about Peter.
"He has a face like yummy mash potatoes with butter and olive oil dripping down," she thought. "His voice sounds like a cuddly rodent," she thought.
Then Caroline thought: "Stop! Stop! Stop!" Soon, Caroline had an idea.
"Mom! Dad!" screamed Caroline. "I need you!"
Sharply indulgent, Caroline's parents appeared in her room almost ASAP. "Yes, sweets?" her father, a lawyer, asked.
"I know what I want for Christmas now," Caroline declared. "I want a new iPad, a faster iPad, a stronger iPad, an iPad that will never make me love a boy ever again."