I forgot to make sure we remembered to get up early on a work day so we could then leave early to go to my doctor's appointment.
We still left early and went, and are making up the couple of hours today. At the time he stressed that I shouldn't have forgotten and I apologised and took responsibility for the mistake.
He downplayed how angry this made him and didn't let on at all during the workday or the ride to the doctor.
Also worth mentioning he almost left even earlier because he wasn't feeling well, until I reminded him of the appointment.
When I got home he lit into me almost immediately with treatment I have been enduring for some time.
Yelling that I'm a fuckup and that's all I am,
that I never make progress (even though this same week he acknowledged progress in various things I've been doing) and I deserve shame and humiliation. He totally exploded at me.
Eventually I got sick of being insulted and asking him to be calmer or at least not yell at me. I yelled back and decided to leave the house because I couldn't deal with it at that point.
I know leaving pisses him off but when I try to get time to think or cool off, he never allows it (follows me into other rooms or around the house or office berating and mocking me).
He was screaming at me to get back there and also yelling my name.
I heard him on the stairs behind me and then he forced his way past me and shoved me hard,
which made me go down several steps and into the wall/corner where there are also the fittings for the banister sticking out. I cried out because it hurt.
He didn't react to any of that at all and blocked the door with his whole body, saying he wouldn't allow me to leave and I would have to make him move physically.
I called the police and he continued to mock me until he realised I was serious and got out of my way, so I canceled the police (stupid in hindsight).
I left and just cried at the bus station for an hour or so.
When I got back he had taken a ton of stuff off the walls and shelves, including my stuff. He said there will be no happy memories around us.
He also said he's going to make my life as difficult and unpleasant as possible in ways that the police will never be able to know about.
This second half of the argument I was prepared for, unlike the first, and I recorded everything.
I moved some of my stuff and slept in the guest room. We still have up until December on this lease together. I sponsor him in this country because he cannot stay on his own.
We also work together.
Today he was crying and begging me not to leave him (which I already had done) etc.
I told him he needs mental health care - not for the first time - and that I can't trust him after what happened on the stairs because he crossed an even worse line than he has before
with verbal abuse.
He claims it was an accident and he tripped, but later in the same conversation he said it was because he needed to get to the bottom before me so he could block the door,
so that's not much of an accident.
My aunt is arriving today by coincidence and will stay with us. She is a terror and I will feel safe with her there.
I'm just fucked up from all of this and needed to vent.