by fueled by dreams
Did you hear? Today,a new beautiful life was brought into my world.
I was afraid at first when I first felt the tiny life stirring inside me.
I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to take care of them. I was afraid that I would fail them.
You want to know something? For once I was
Afraid of you.
I know that all of this time, over the years, I've told you that I'm not afraid of you.
I was courting you, and longing for your return for me. You'd taken everyone but me. I'd seen enough of you, to be unafraid.
But when I felt the life thrumming steadily within me-a life other than mine, my heart stopped. For days after, I was on edge,and everytime I saw you to close to home,I hid from you.
There was a new life waiting to see me and the rest of the world,and I didn't want you to take that away from me. I wanted to live now. I wanted to watch this life grow.
And become someone beautiful.
I'm sorry,but I don't want to see you yet.
I won't chase after you anymore. This time for real,and true.
I want to chase this life around,make them laugh,and smile.
I want to hold them when they cry,and take care of their wounds.
I want to tell them about you,but I will tell them not to chase after you as I did.
I want them to see possibilities.
Not a quick and 'easy' exit.
I want to want life
I'm sorry,but then-
I'm not sorry.
This beautiful life was given to me
To love, cherish and protect.
I'm so thankful for this little one
For the renewed thirst for
I can't just let you take that away
So for now,and until you do come for me