Botched by penutbutternick
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penutbutternick
penutbutternick Metal AF. Allpoetry @peanutbutternick
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
about botching suicide and its potential consequences.

Botched by penutbutternick

Big jump But not big enough Crushed all my bones and stayed wide awake Loose noose Idiot tied I fell to the floor when I heard the rope break

Head shot Under the chin Blew out my teeth but my brain stayed intact Liquor and pills Convulsing but breathing Aware to feel all my organs react

Slit wrists Cut throat But lacked the resolve to dive in the deep Running car Sealed garage Fear of the next had me leave before sleep

I’ll try again With no way to back out Alone and with fail-safes to ensure that I die I’m certain for this So I proceed As the door closes I begin to ask “why?”

Unsure Second thoughts Am I a coward for leaving loose ends? break promises leave obligations What will this do to my family and friends?

Changed mind Epiphany No longer want to do the unchangeable Too late senses fade The actions I’ve done are now irreversible

Brain dead breathing tube Forced to exist as helpless vegetable This life Was not what wanted Botching my ending was never intentional

Stale eyes Paralyzed Living dead worse than before Wasted health Erased all future I lost what I had for wanting some more

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