by Elizabeth Henslehy
A Sweet little Vampire Tale With A Cat
Percy Vladimir lives in a beautiful stone cottage surrounded by lavender in the shadow of a snow-covered mountain near Transylvania, along a crystal clear, glacier-fed stream.
He grows lavender on his five acre mini-farm because it smells nice, it is beautiful to behold and sells very well at the Transylvania Farmer's Market and more recently, on the Internet.
He is owned by a white, blue-eyed Cat named Snow who loved him intensely, She will follow him anywhere so he has to put her inside his cottage when he leaves home,
which he does almost every night on his bike which has phlebotomy equipment in the side saddles.
For yes, Percy, in the most harmless and socially responsible way possible takes biologically after his Great, Great Grandfather.
Over the centuries he has acquired with careful screening to make sure the process is beneficial to both,
a sufficiently large number of Donors so Percy never has to harm a Living Soul to acquire the ruby-red, liquid nourishment his biology requires.
He had found a night school that taught phlebotomy and now gathers his nourishment in a sanitary, safe and mostly painless way.
Thus he has the satisfaction of knowing he has` not infected anybody with the Vampire-Virus in over one hundred years.
In fact he had taught similar responsible behavior to several other Vampires who he had had the misfortune of infecting earlier, before he had this luxury.
The Vampire Virus is very hard to catch, or else we would be up to the Moon and back in Vampires.
But it happens once in a while, just enough that this unique biological variation stays with us through the centuries. It helps that this particular Virus imparts long life upon its Victims.
But that makes sense doesn’t it? It is a wonder more Parasites don't aid their Hosts more. The healthier the Host, the healthier and better off the Parasite.
The ones he had infected during earlier times still live among us, most of them trying and succeeding most of the time to be good Neighbors,
responsible self-supporting Citizens and they vote. (At least they do when it is possible to do so after dark.)
Many of them are Church-Goers when night services are available.
They have done as Percy hs done; acquired themselves strings of Donors. They are Prisoners of their biology, but then aren't we all? This Life is just the beta test.
At the next level no one will have to eat anybody! Because Science and Faith are working together to build us a better life. (Cupid and Psyche will tango together forever!)
Because Space-Time is wrapped around the Universe by its Gravity, due to General Relativity, that Next Level already exists.
Percy also carves coo coo clocks, small tables and walking sticks. He also carves wooden beer mugs after the German fashion and often tippled his favorite drinks out of one of them.
Almost every night after he comes back from his food-foraging activities he will work long hours into the night,
tending his sweet smelling lavender or carving beautiful things in his basement which also smells of Lavender, for that is where he dries his crop after he gathers it.
Snow keeps him company, purring to him. A nocturnal life fits a Cat's nature.
The basement smells sweetly of Lavender and rich dark Earth, for it has no floor but God's sweet Earth, for of course Vampires must stay in contact with the Earth to stay grounded.
When dawn makes it rosy presence known, Percy will pull thick curtains closed and retire to his hand-carved, mahogany coffin.
Because the thick curtains made it dark enough he can leave the lid up so Snow can sleep and snuggle with him.
She sings to him as Cats have done for many of us for thousands of years, purring in his ears, nuzzling him and kneading him.
(It is nice to be kneaded!) They will sleep through the day, both comfortable and happy. But when the Moon is silvery again both Cat and Vampire rise to face the new night together.
It isn't even possible for Percy to sleep late. Snow of course will not let him.
There is never a snooze-button on a hungry Cat! So after he arises from his coffin, feeding Snow is the first thing Percy does.
As the ancient proverb so accurately states, “There are billions of Intelligent Lifeforms in the Universe. They are ALL owned by Cats!” Vampires of course are no exception.
Then Percy will bath himself in his stone tub which is fed from the glacier-fed stream behind his house and heated with a combination of solar and wind power.
He had installed the system himself and it had been quite a challenge for the instructions had been in Japanese! But Percy is a very smart Vampire. He'd managed.
Then Percy will dress in whatever is in stylish fashion for the era. No Vampire cape for him for goodness sakes! Percy doesn’t want to look like a Nut or an Eccentric. He wants to fit in.
Then he will brush his shiny, black hair and his teeth, paying careful attention to his long incisors.
For while he no longer needed them for blood-sucking, if he'd ever had a problem with them, finding a Dentist who could handle those special hollow teeth would have been very difficult.
Nothing could be more pitiful than a Vampire with a tooth-ache!
Then he will go to his refrigerator and fill one of his hand-carved mugs to the brim with his beloved,
liquid nourishment and raise his mug high in deep thanks to God before drinking it down to its dregs.
Percy is grateful for the long life he has, his beautiful cottage, his mountain, his Lavender and for Snow.
The last one hundred years had been kind to him and Vampire though he is, he know very well he is one of God's, beloved Children. The Lamb is a creation of God but so is the Lion.
Prey Animals and Predators both have their virtues. We aren't all made to be Vegetarians.
The real reason most Vampires will not bite someone who is wearing a cross is not out of fear but out of respect.
Christ gave His blood willingly for all and He offers all who will willing partake, Eternal Life. (In a way that makes many of us Vampires.)
After his breakfast Percy will put some Lavender in his side saddle as a gift for his Donors and check his phlebotomy equipment to make sure it lacks nothing and is all in good order.
Then he will bicycle into the dark night into town to the house of whomever it is that night on his list who was up in rotation to donate to him that night.
Sometimes Percy pays for his meals (and much better than any blood bank.) Sometimes his Donors refuse to accept any money. Sometimes Percy pays in work he can do.
Over the centuries Percy has become very proficient in many skills. In fact for one Donor, who had been helping him since he was a Teenager, Percy had eventually built him his entire house.
On winter nights when it gets dark soon enough, and when there are Church services, Percy will often go.
During the Summer when it does not get dark soon enough he will watch services on his TV, or more recently, on the Internet just as many Shut-ins do.
Percy, as many who are isolated from society for one reason or another has, over the centuries developed a deep relationship with God.
Percy is too wise to think he can live forever just because he is a Vampire.
Eventually he would get caught in the Sunlight, or he will get staked, or for that matter the Sun eventually will lose sufficient mass to maintain gravitational integrity,
go into its rapid expansion phase (nova) and literally turn the Solar System into a lake of fire straight out of Revelation.
Percy wanted to live forever, REALLY forever, and as Pascal’s Theorem states, “God is, or God is not. Reason cannot decide between the two alternatives. A Game is being played...
where heads or tails will turn up. You must wager (it is not optional). Let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that God is. Let us estimate these two chances.
If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing.
Wager, then, without hesitation that He is There is here an infinity of an infinitely happy life to gain, a chance of gain against a finite number of chances of loss,
and what you stake is finite. And so our proposition is of infinite force, when there is the finite to stake in a game where there are equal risks of gain and of loss, and the infinite to gain.
But some cannot believe. They should then 'at least learn your inability to believe...' and 'Endeavor then to convince' themselves.