i am used to writing in metaphors
i say exactly what i want when i don't
when i say something else instead
but the truth is
i've had nothing to say for weeks now
things went wrong
wronger than wrong
i went back to my hometown and almost killed myself
during what was supposed to be my vacation
came back home and lost my job two days later
see, normally i'd think of something to describe the feeling of losing the things you want to drown yourself in, but i got nothing. i want to write about it, make it sound profound. poetic.
so when i return to the text (something i do often) i get some sort of enlightenment.
but i got nothing.
everything else is good now. i already got a new job, my friends and family are fine, i have a roof over my head.
but i still can't write. feels like i am unable to be myself when i never wanted to be anyone else.
i think i'll try again. and again. and only publish this when i manage to succeed. if there's one thing i've learned in life, is that things always get better.
i just have to be here to appreciate it, to see it. to work for it.
thanks for reading this unusual rant of mine. i'm gonna go work on my metaphors now.