“Don’t fight it,
Let it manifest and destroy you.
You pleaded for death, well here’s your chance.
React the way that you always planned.”
Says the voice.
You’d walk home from a day that you thought was going to be okay,
But it appeared that even just sitting still was enough to drive you insane.
You had to occupy your mind with worthless thoughts.
Thoughts of a gun being pointed by your temple all so you could feel at rest,
Sleeping seems to be just a word now.
You used to love it, now it’s a compound.
It traps you in the morning where you’re supposed to shine,
And in the night, it insteads traps you in your mind.
Whispering words that tangles you up,
Regrets and hidden anger, that’s all that decides to erupt.
Disappointment in your actions that it controlled,
And utter bafflement on why you don’t let your true feelings show.
The words are screaming at you as you lay in bed,
But all you can do is just stay still and try to clear your head.
Put your headphones on, and music up,
But unfortunately, even music can’t ever be loud enough.
This makes you more frustrated.
You need sleep, you feel it.
You feel as if your legs are about to give in every morning,
Your head is pounding,
And your eyes are straining.
You play it off in your head,
Trying to trick it that you actually went to bed,
But it’s at that standpoint where you can’t convince it that you had enough sleep.
I just want to close my eyes and sleep.
I don’t ask for much,
I even disregarded to breathe.
I just want sleep.
That’s all I need.