Do you think I wanted to love you?
Do you think I wanted to feel this way every single day?
Do you think I enjoy feeling so miserable and worthless
because nothing I do ever seems to be good enough for you?
Do you think I wanted to watch you fall for someone else?
No. No. No. I never wanted any of this.
I didnt want to love you!
If I could I would stop.
If I could I would erase every memory of you from my mind.
I would forget every attempt to get to you know you better
with nothing given back in return.
I would let all of our laughs and conversations fade out of existence.
Because I hate you for making me love you.
I hate you
and I can’t stop loving you.
You were a single ruby red rose
and I was an innocent child who fell in love with a rare flower
that had hidden thorns underneath the smooth petals
and when I reached out the thorns pricked my skin
which I once believed to be thick.
Now I am not so sure
because you made me bleed so easily.
I guess my mother was right when she told me
I guess my mother was right when she told me, “Look, but honey don’t touch.”