This was my first long distance relationship and I don't think I'll have another one of these, I could but I just can't.
I engaged in a long distance relationship back when I was adult, yeah, around 16 years old. We were miles away, like way far away, actually different country.
Even though we we're miles away we still managed to talk several times a day, every day. Her name is Sora, she's from Japan. She was the very first girl I ever told "I love you" "Aishiteru."
As the months go by, through several phone calls, we would spend countless of hours just talking random stuffs and just laughing our asses off, talk about stupid stuffs, whatever goes through our mind.
It was all fun and I was completely enjoying and was genuinely happy but I thought to myself what is genuine? Then of course, the inevitable day came and Sora broke up with me.
She stated several reasons, this and that.
I knew this day was coming so I was a bit ready, I built up my courage went straight asking her if there was someone else the whole time?
She said there was, I had mixed emotions when I heard those words, I found it comforting since there would be at least someone who will be there for her when I couldn't
What do I feel? Well of course it fucking hurts, welcome to the broken hearts club I guess?
I felt heartbroken but it wasn't enough reason for me to talk shit on her and hate her, I told her that she was always welcome to call me any time she feels talking to me.
Yeah right, I feel consoled. After that my conversation with Sora wasn't that often anymore till I lost communication with her.
Fast forward a little bit, 5 months later, she called me. I'll always remember it. I just got home that night after I spent the day playing play-station with a friend.
As I stepped inside the house, my mom yelled at me saying that someone was calling the phone countless of times saying her name was "Sora." I was a little bit shocked and excited.
Then the phone ringed again and I immediately answered it thinking it was Sora but it was my friend saying he had fun with me. I was pissed and ended the call.
Then the phone ringed again and I knew for sure this time it was Sora. I took the phone and went upstairs to my room.
I hadn't spoken to her for about 5 months and I was anxious on what she had to say. I can hear her soft voice in the phone but it wasn't that soft as it was before she was crying.
I asked her what's the matter,
she couldn't stop crying so I let her took her time and during this time my heart was pounding so fast and I kept overthinking that maybe she and her bf got on a fight or something.
When she picked herself up she told words that I will never forget "I'm not gonna last long" I was shocked and asked her what does she mean.
She told me that she is currently fighting stage 4 leukemia.
"There was no other boy" she told me as she was crying silently, she said she didn't want me to experience the feeling of losing her slowly.
She said she wanted to connect with me again and spend the final moments of her life talking to me until she say goodbye. After everything she said, I was there feeling empty and cried.
Ten years passed I graduated college. The Memories whenever I think of it still haunts me. I have no idea on what to do back then and or what happened.
I told my family and they would support me if I have to go to Japan but I had no information about her, I couldn't get any hold of anyone on where she could be in Japan.
I only have her name and number.
I thought to myself she tried to cut information I could get during those months we didn't have communication, but as a 16 year old, she died in a bed and I couldn't be there for her.
The first girl I ever loved died because of leukemia.
I'm currently 36, a doctor (hematologist) who specializes in disease such as leukemia. I just landed in Japan to start my new life and work here.
I swear to my life, I'll find her grave and give her a proper goodbye. I love her so much,
P.s. Her name was Sora which means Sky in Japanese and it's the most beautiful word that I ever knew. My love for Sora is like the sky, it's vast and never ending.