They say you can't control your feelings.
You can't decide who it is that you fall for.
Well, I know that I definitely
didn't decide for you take a passenger's seat
in all of my thoughts.
To be the letter stamp in all of my memories.
You are the mirror that I look through when I get dressed in the morning.
You're the sunglasses I put on to drive.
You make my heart dance to melodies I've never heard
And I know
with every passing day
that I definitely didn't decide this.
I've been trying to decide anything else but this for two years.
Yet I keep finding you everywhere
On my doorstep,
in my closet,
on my desk,
in my car.
You're in the movies I watch,
the coffee I drink,
the scent from the candles I burn.
I can't get away from you.
I don't know when
or if I will.
you only exist in the paradox I've created for myself.
So perfect that my daydreams of you make my heart flutter
as if your laugh had actually echoed in the room.
Too pristine that the last thing I'd want you to ever touch
The darkness of this place
distorts every notion of perfection.
Reality breaks hearts and draws blood from anyone too eager to place their daydreams into its palm.
Anyone too naive to hope that a dream lived out
is better than one held close
But that's not me.
I stay here in the middle.
Afraid of reality
and deeply in love with a dream.
Never once letting the two meet.
Never being quite brave enough to try.
You are in every song I sing.
Every book I read.
At this point
I don't know if I've put you there
or if you existed within them already.
I don't know when this feeling will leave.
I don't know if in 10 years,
after so many careful hours spent memorizing the curl of your hair
or the depth of your eyes...
Tucking each part of you safely inside of my heart,
I'll be free.
Free in a way that allows me to breathe deeply when I see you.
Allows me to hear your voice and see you face
And not feel my heart beat out of my chest.
Maybe I will always feel this.
Maybe you will always be with me.